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A Little Pep Talk for Those Recovering from Abusive Relationships

This is how I talk to myself to make sure it never happens again

Y.L. Wolfe
Liberty

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Photo by cottonbro studio via Pexels

Wait. Stop. Take a breath. I need you to remember something.

You always knew.

You knew what was happening. Deep down, some part of you understood. You knew it was cruelty. You knew it was abuse. You knew you didn’t deserve it.

Of course there were parts of you that didn’t fully understand. And even parts of you that did think you deserved it.

But underneath all of that, where your truest self resides, you knew, or at least suspected.

Remember that it’s hard to see straight when you’ve been conditioned to believe that abuse is love. When you’ve been socialized to pretend that having a boyfriend or husband is far more important than your mental or physical health.

And it’s nearly impossible to see clearly when you’re being daily gaslit. When he turns your own mind against you. When he makes you doubt your own intelligence and even sanity.

Don’t make it worse by blaming yourself. Don’t heap more abuse on top of what you’ve already experienced.

Validate that you knew. Some part of you knew.

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