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I’m Giving Up on Self-Improvement
I refuse to continue affirming that I’m not worthy just as I am right now
I’ve decided to do something radical: I will no longer be working to improve myself.
No more endlessly trying to cut out sugar so that maybe I’ll finally lose this chub around my middle. No more self-help books. No more constantly analyzing the circumstances, decisions, and struggles in my life to determine where I fucked up and how I can stop fucking up.
I’m done. I’ve had enough.
I am about to turn 45, and after a lifetime of diligent effort to improve myself, I still have not achieved most of the things I so long for. And I have hit a wall in my romantic life that I just cannot hit anymore.
In the past, I would have asked what I brought to the situation that caused it to disintegrate right there in my hands. I would have bought five new books on the spiritual principles of love and committed to yet another course of study that might help me figure out what I could’ve done better. I would have started a new meditation practice, a new journaling routine, and maybe even an online self-improvement challenge, like 10 Days to Attracting a Great Love.
Today, as I hurtle toward my birthday…I’ve decided I’m not going to do a damn thing. I’m not…