Member-only story
It’s Hard Not to Be Depressed When Democracy Dies
A very personal story about navigating grief, mental health issues and a faltering career when authoritarianism brings everything to a head
It takes me at least half an hour to get out of bed these days. I have to do a lot of mental gymnastics to motivate myself. A lot of brainstorming trying to convince myself that there are things awaiting me throughout the day that I’m looking forward to.
Mostly, that list is food. Maybe exclusively. Yeah, that’s pretty much it right now. I’ll finally drag myself out of bed because I’m looking forward to breakfast. And after breakfast, my morning cup of tea. And after that, a piece of a chocolate marzipan bar. And then lunch. And then half a kombucha. And then a cookie.
Since January, those are the things that get me through the day.
Unfortunately, I run out by about 3 o’clock in the afternoon. And after that, there’s nothing left. I don’t even look forward to going to bed anymore.
Not to mention the fact that everything on that list is, as I mentioned, food. I feel incapable of getting excited about anything else.
I have a few visits with friends here and there, but am largely isolated. The current…
