Should You Leave Him If He’s Not Ready for a Baby?
Thoughts from a woman who stayed…and missed out on motherhood
Every now and then, I hear it: the unanswerable question. You might even say the unaskable question, the one we, as women, are never supposed to utter.
Should I leave my boyfriend (or husband), who isn’t sure he’s ready for kids, in order to find someone who is ready?
People who know my history sometimes ask me this. It’s the kind of hard-won wisdom you don’t want to earn after sticking through seven years with a partner who was ambivalent about having kids.
Knowing what I know today, would I make different choices if I could go back in time, they want to know.
But I don’t often hear their words. I hear their longing — perhaps even desperation — for a simple answer. For a simple way to get from where they are to where they want to be.
The problem is, it’s too complicated an issue for a yes or no question.
Let’s start at the beginning. There’s a basic assumption that underlies this question: the notion that we can make a choice that will guarantee us an entry point into motherhood.
We are operating under the belief that ending a relationship with someone we love, someone who might…
