Why Women Desperately Need Honest Conversations About Marriage & Motherhood

It’s time for the fairy tale to die

Y.L. Wolfe
Published in
8 min readMay 26


Photo by Andreas Rønningen on Unsplash

Step right up, step right up! We’ve got just the cure for your ailments! We’ve got the scratch for your itch!

So unhappy, little lady, so unhappy! You’ve felt so alone. So sad. The world feels like a lonely place. And nothing you do ever feels like it’s going to be enough to actually be enough.

But never fear. We’ll fix you right up.

How’s a pink sunset sound? That’s right — pink twilight all day, every day.

Round the clock happiness — think you’re up for it? Joy coming out of your fingertips?

I’ll bet you’d love to be feel beautiful every second of the day. Maybe not just beautiful, but desired, too? Oh, look, folks, I made her blush! But don’t be shy, little lady. It’s every woman’s dream, is it not?

How about no more loneliness? Ever? You will never, ever be alone or feel alone again.

And perhaps best of all, you’ll find your destiny fulfilled. Can you even imagine what that feels like?

That’s right, my darling, I told you we’ve got the cure for your ailments and I meant it. And you don’t have to take any medicine. You don’t have to start a new exercise regimen.

All you have to do is put a ring on your finger and say, “I do.”

Not too long ago, I randomly selected old Will & Grace reruns to watch on Hulu while I cooked dinner. The pilot episode began as I chopped onions, and by the time I got to the end of it, I was riveted.

In this episode, Grace agrees to marry her boyfriend, and though we never meet him, we have it on good authority (Will’s) that the guy is unsupportive and unkind to Grace. When she tells him she’s getting married, instead of congratulating her, Will reminds her that he’s not going to be a good match for her and says, “You only said yes because you’re afraid you’ll never get married.”

I was surprised to find myself suddenly overwhelmed with grief.

The last time I watched that episode was, I believe, the day it premiered: September 21, 1998. I was 22 years old and though I was single, I…



Y.L. Wolfe

Gender-curious, solosexual, perimenopausal, childless crone-in-training. | Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/gleDcD | Email: welcome@yaelwolfe.com