Tesla and Boston Dynamics Announce Merger
Elon Musk tweeted “I bought a dog!” just before his mystery event yesterday at his space port in Texas.
He rolled up on the stage in his New Model S Tesla. Windows darkened, the rear door opened and out came Elon and a Boston Dynamics Spot Dog.
The Dog was not the one that had been seen at the Boca Chica Starbase facility helping clean up the various Rapid Unplanned Dissassemblies of SpaceX Starships..
It was a new one. It wiggled its behind in delight as Elon walked to the microphone.
“I have bought Boston Dynamics,” Elon announced, “and they are announcing a new version of ‘Spot’.”
“This version is exclusive for Tesla owners and SpaceX Travelers.”
We are calling the SpaceX version “Astro,” in memory of the The Jetsons’ dog, and the Tesla version after The Jetsons robot dog named “‘Lectronimo.”
“Sound Ludicrous?” The audience screamed in the first sheer happiness seen in a press briefing in five years. Networks all over the globe started airing the press announcement immediately.
“Only Tesla owners can buy his own customized ‘Lectronimo.”
“And the price? Not $75,000, but exclusively under $10,000 as an add on to a new Tesla purchase!”
“We’ve achieved this reduction from $75,000 by incorporating Tesla Batteries, Motor, and AI technology in ‘Lectronimo.”
On the stock market, TSLA stock soared 40%.
“We see a big use for ‘Lectronimo in helping you carry things. With his saddle he can even carry a person for short distances up and down stairs.
“‘Lectronimo can be put in child friendly mode. Like a good dog, he will permit pulling and hitting. Around kids, he’ll never use his real strength except to carry. He can keep your baby within your reach in your house and your garden. He even plays with kittens.”
“And watch this.. Lectron, pack yourself up in our Tesla.” The Tesla opened its front trunk, or frunk, and Lectron jumped in with an audible “wolf wolf.” More applause.
“But of course, most people want ‘Lectronimo to hang out of the rear window. Lectron, out, backseat, Lectron!” The frunk opened, Lectron jumped in the back seat, the window opened, and Lectron put his paws on the Window sill as the Tesla drove off stage.
“The Astro version for SpaceX is similar,” Elon said. “It is Moon and Mars ready to help the Astronauts. We are offering it not only to NASA but other space agencies as well. It does have cosmic and gamma ray sensors to it so can find and lead people to safe places. It also has a child mode.”
At the end of the presentation, a Tesla CyberTruck drove up on the stage. In the drivers seat, there was a Boston Dynamics Humanoid. “We named the Humanoid “Robin.” Robin not only can carry stuff from the CyberTruck to homes or workplaces and take stuff back to the truck, he can also ring a door bell and ask for power. Politely, of course.”
Not to be outdone, Bezos held a press conference briefly afterwards to announce that Amazon Basics would be carrying accessories for Lectron including a choice of Lectron dog ears that can flap in the wind if Lectron has his head out the window. Alexa integration is available with Lectron gaining a special Alexa module to answer questions, explain the weather, and play music, and do better at understanding commands than the basic Lectron.
The whisper on the street is that Bezos and Musk were seen playing with spaceship models in a restaurant in Austin.
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