Stage 17:

Tushar Marpaka
Sep 4, 2018 · 2 min read

“So, write. It is clear that you like writing and have written in the past” the text read. “So, why not? It is a kind of therapy after all.”

“Yeah, right. But I haven’t written in years and the end product will be crap. It won’t have quality.” I replied.

08:03 am. Saturday.

“Shit. Am I late for something? I feel like I am late for something.” I thought to myself. I couldn’t remember for what. But I felt it will strike me soon, so I started to get ready any way.

08:03 am is very late for me. I usually like to wake up at 05:30 am. I haev always felt that there is a lot to do in life, after getting up. So, I didn’t like the idea of sleeping. So, I don’t require any alarm to wake up. I just thought of when I want to wake up. This was my super-power. I could wake up whenever I wanted to. I was sleep-man. (Or wake-up-man?) I was proud of this quality. It kinda put me apart from the crowd.

Yes, a big part of the last two years were painful for me. It had become difficult to operate as a human. I was a mess. “Love, please try and smile” she used to say, “you look amazing when you smile.” I didn’t actually believe her. I didn’t know what to believe. But I needed her. Or so I thought.

“Everyone has problems in their lives, they have it worse than you, but look around, they smile and move forward.” she said. I did see people around me. She was right. They also were going through a lot. But they were laughing, smiling and seemed happy. And I was there, among them with a gloomy face. She was not wrong.

So, I smiled. It was fake, of course. But I smiled. I stretched those face muscles the right way, and managed to fool everyone. Well, not everyone. Because she knew. And a few others also knew.

But this was a few months ago.

Today? Today I do not have time much time all of that. For example, I will be busy today and tomorrow finding a place for my friend. Ok, now I remember what I was forgetting, I have to call a few people up about a few places that I checked last evening.

Don’t worry. I like it this way. I like that things keep me busy these days. I keep busy working, writing, watching TV. Things are getting done by me. That means I am moving forward. This is progress, right?


More of this series coming. So, hang on.

liesandtruth

Story about all the things that helped me on my way to getting over my past.

inquisitive | thinker-doer | engineer | eternal-student |

Story about all the things that helped me on my way to getting over my past.

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