Stage 17:

“So, write. It is clear that you like writing and have written in the past” the text read. “So, why not? It is a kind of therapy after all.”

“Yeah, right. But I haven’t written in years and the end product will be crap. It won’t have quality.” I replied.

08:03 am. Saturday.

“Shit. Am I late for something? I feel like I am late for something.” I thought to myself. I couldn’t remember for what. But I felt it will strike me soon, so I started to get ready any way.

08:03 am is very late for me. I usually like to wake up at 05:30 am. I haev always felt that there is a lot to do in life, after getting up. So, I didn’t like the idea of sleeping. So, I don’t require any alarm to wake up. I just thought of when I want to wake up. This was my super-power. I could wake up whenever I wanted to. I was sleep-man. (Or wake-up-man?) I was proud of this quality. It kinda put me apart from the crowd.

Yes, a big part of the last two years were painful for me. It had become difficult to operate as a human. I was a mess. “Love, please try and smile” she used to say, “you look amazing when you smile.” I didn’t actually believe her. I didn’t know what to believe. But I needed her. Or so I thought.

“Everyone has problems in their lives, they have it worse than you, but look around, they smile and move forward.” she said. I did see people around me. She was right. They also were going through a lot. But they were laughing, smiling and seemed happy. And I was there, among them with a gloomy face. She was not wrong.

So, I smiled. It was fake, of course. But I smiled. I stretched those face muscles the right way, and managed to fool everyone. Well, not everyone. Because she knew. And a few others also knew.

But this was a few months ago.

Today? Today I do not have time much time all of that. For example, I will be busy today and tomorrow finding a place for my friend. Ok, now I remember what I was forgetting, I have to call a few people up about a few places that I checked last evening.

Don’t worry. I like it this way. I like that things keep me busy these days. I keep busy working, writing, watching TV. Things are getting done by me. That means I am moving forward. This is progress, right?

More of this series coming. So, hang on.