My College Education.

Was it worth it?

I’m usually peppier than a squad full of cheerleaders – ask anyone who has spent more than 4 seconds with me – but when it comes to recounting my college days, I mutate into a peeved troll.

The rant I used to mutter under my embittered breath was, “It was worth it. It was worth it. It was worth it.”

For at least a year after graduation, I viciously responded to any article that pointed out that being a humanities major is a huge waste of time. I even tried to write my own piece, which got as far as the title: Everyone Secretly Wants to Be an English Major.

No matter what anyone said to me, I had convinced myself that the $80k in student loans that are haunting me like the age-old albatross was worth the resume bump. That getting an education from a world-renowned institution somehow gave me a leg up in the grand scheme of workonomics. 

I was exactly 100% wrong. This realization slammed into me like a tank a few weeks ago.

It occurred to me that in every single position I’ve held since I graduated, not one of them has paid me better because I have a college degree. Not one of them has showcased my talents. Every single one, however, has had to be reinforced by secondary - and, at times, tertiary and quaternary - employment. 

I don’t have parents who can provide health insurance for me. Or pay for rent. Or fly me home for the holidays. I don’t have a trust fund that can swallow up the overwhelming debt I’ve incurred. I am entirely on my own. Part of me is okay with this - I am a contributing, tax-paying member of society. I’m a Big Girl now. But part of me resents those people who have had their life-road paved by gold.

It’s a silly resentment, but take two of my friends: one is also a poor college English major grad in the exact same position as me, living away from home and barely making it. She has chosen not to attend grad school for this very reason: what’s the point in inviting more debt when you’re pretty sure that the degree you’ll hopefully obtain will leave you with more debt? My other friend has a father who will provide for her until she has a well-paying job. She spent the summer in England covering the Olympics. Her family takes regular trips abroad. She is attending grad school in Boston - a rising journalist - and has never worked a day in her life. What did she major in? English. She can afford to be whimsical when it comes to her educational, and, later, employment choices. 

I think, no, I know I’m saying that today, you have to make your choices based on what kind of preexisting economic advantages you may or may not already have.

I am also saying that it really sucks to be a poor college grad in today’s economy. And, by God are there a lot of us.

I think that the reason I went to school was because it was expected - it never even occurred to me to do anything else - and I looked down my judgmental nose at anyone who did differently. Now I envy those who got started early in the workforce, and then returned to school when it was best for them. Now I am the one who is worse off because I spent four years at a school that provided me with absolutely no real-world applications.

This is strange and backwards, it seems.

Shouldn’t I be more qualified for positions? Wasn’t the point of college to graduate so that I could make more money? 

And for awhile, it seemed like it. It seemed like I was going to make things work. I was on track to go to law school and be successful. 

But of course, just like everything else that used to be lucrative, going to law school is now considered to be a dead end. There are too many lawyers and not enough people who can afford them. Publishing is being cast in a morose light, what with the invention of the internet and self-publication. And you can only get a teaching position in a public school with a teaching license. If you have a master’s, no one wants to hire you because of your degree.

I find it odd that in a world where education and intellectual wealth used to be worth more than anything else, people who have those degrees cannot find employment. It’s as though we undervalue higher education. Now, higher education, particularly in the humanities, is a convenience for those who can afford it. 

To make matters worse, college taught me nothing about social interactions (of course, I went to a school widely noted to be “awkward”). Social interactions - networking, media, blogging - is what drives the world now. It’s about being socially savvy, and more, it’s really about who you know. Seriously. But college taught me nothing of what the real world looks like. 

It taught me, instead, how to be passive-aggressive, over-worked, entirely self-deprecating and depressed, and, most importantly, how to be an elitist asshole. 

On the one side, I can juggle numerous jobs because I am used to not having a life.

On the other, I still don’t make enough to have just the one job. And I am only partially doing what I love. 

I don’t want to say, “DON’T GO TO COLLEGE.” I also don’t want to promise anyone a life of luxury. All I do want to say is, take heed of what college graduates have been shouting to the heavens. Seriously weigh your options. What you decide you want to do before you enter college and what you actually end up doing can be two entirely different monsters: I went into college fully expecting that I would end up in medical school. I graduated with a degree in English Literature. Talk about completely different pathways.

It’s almost better to get an education in oneself - figure out who you are, what you truly want and desire and need in life - before you settle on a path. A path to nowhere, while adventurous and interesting, is also costly. And in an era when money=time=money, you cannot be bothered to waste yours. 

Figure out where you want to go, and then measure how you want to get there. If college is a necessary part of that journey, take it. If it doesn’t definitely play into what you want, decide if it is worth the economical and circumstantial dedication.