Grief is a Journey, not a Destination
When I first lost my mother, I didn’t consider that I would grieve her forever. I thought after a couple of years things would get better — that the pain would disappear. That obviously never happened, and I am so glad now that it didn’t.
I recently sat in a room full of grieving people who had just lost someone. The conversation was awkward as those around me were struggling to find the words that accurately described the loss of a loved one who was sitting right next to them only a few months ago. But, eventually they stumbled through their stories. They had found comfort in those who sat around them — in a community that allowed them to try and find the words.
In each of those people was an individual grief story that would live on in them forever. While the pain will get less intense over time, the memory of their loved one will never leave them. Grief, like most painful things, leaves its mark on your whole life not just parts of it. It doesn’t matter if the person you lost died only months ago or over a decade ago. Grief doesn’t fade away.
I know that Mother’s Day will still hurt next year. I know that each November, I will be counting the years she has been missing from my life. In January, I will be reminded how old she would been if she were still here. All of those things are true of my grief journey.
Each person that is lost is uniquely remembered by the legacy they left behind. Grief is a journey of missing that person and remembering who they were. It is not a destination that ends once year two of them being gone hits. There will always be moments of sadness and longing for them to be sitting next to you just one last time.
The beauty of grief is that it’s a deep reminder of the love that you had. That love never disappeared, even when that person did. I am honored to grieve my mother. I am honored to have been loved so well by her. Grief is a beautiful journey, not a destination with a clear ending point. As my journey continues, I will always be reminded of the legacy she left behind.
Find more blogs at lifeafterloss.net
