New Year, Same …
When New Year’s Day Doesn’t Make it All Go Away
Right now it is 11:24pm on Sunday, December 31, 2017. I am sitting in my sweatpants on my couch at home with my family. We have popped the champagne. We are flipping through the NYE specials on TV. This is how I normally ring in the new year. Nothing too exciting, but just exactly how I want it.
Over the past few weeks, I have been scrolling through Instagram reading everyone’s posts on 2017. Most of them are the same. This past year had both good and bad moments. Great things happened and not so great things happened. We loved and we lost. etc. And my 2017 was pretty much the same as theirs.
The end of this year has been kind of difficult for me. My grief tested me in new ways and I found myself at a stand still in some relationships. There are so many things about these past few months that I wish had turned out differently, and I know I’m taking all of that with me into the New Year. So while I could say that I want to change this and that the second the clock strikes midnight tonight, I know that a lot of things will stay exactly the same.
I have never met a New Year’s resolution that I have followed through. I always give up by January 4th. I admire those who are diligently after change so much so that they stick with them. I just can’t. I’m not making one this year. I didn’t make one last year. But, I am hopeful. I am going into this year feeling hopeful. I know that hard things are to come. I also know that good things are to come. I might not be ready when those things arrive, but I will greet them with a hopeful smile.
At the end of 2016, I felt so drained I thought that 2017 could not make me more tired. Here I am at the end of 2017. I still feel a little tired (my bedtime is 10:30pm, after all) but I also feel really at peace. I have experienced growth and done a lot of things that have made myself proud. I am walking into a new year with some hope in my back pocket.
I know that January 1st will not make any of my problems go away. I don’t know what is in store for tomorrow. I do know that as long as I put my faith in Jesus, I will be blessed in this new year. And I plan to do just that.
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