Are you considering dating? Keep this in mind.
Behavior tolerated will be behavior that is repeated.
This a part three (3) of the series: “Intentionally Dating.”
So much can be said about the word “Authority,” especially in today’s atmosphere around the police. It seems that we are always walking on eggs, trying to avoid tense and difficult conversations surrounding our government.
With that in mind, as a Parent Coach, one of the most popular tips I share with my clients is the idea of setting the tone early on in their parenting journey.
You ( the parent) are the authority figure in the parent and child relationship dynamic. Establishing healthy and reasonable boundaries in your parenting journey is an essential part of your parenting journey and your child’s character building and society’s betterment.
We all need to have a healthy fear of authority, whether toward our parents, the police, or our boss. A healthy understanding and relations to the concept of authority are good and wise; it allows us to develop a deep sense of accountability to ourselves and others around us and in our lives. Yes, the “system needs a transformation, a purging, or cleansing.
Yes, the injustice is too uncomfortable to mention, yet embracing the mindset of no respect and lawlessness, the results will always be devastating and damaging. So, how does this apply to the person you will date and possibly marry?
Let’s dive in.
*Reconsider if they have no regard for any form of authority.
Anyone who loathes the law and boundaries set by others is not ready to be in any form of a romantic relationship. No matter how attractive, well-spoken, and sweet the person of your interest might be if breaking the law and sneering at any form of authority is thrilling and fun to them. No one with such a mindset is suitable for dating, let alone marriage.
Usually, when it comes to dating someone with a spirit of lawlessness, we think of a guy, aka “the bad boy,” not to imply that a girl is incapable of the same mindset. Nonetheless, I will elaborate my point referring to a guy. Getting romantically involved with “the bad boy” might seem fun and adventurous in theory or even initially. Sooner or later, reality will cause you to make a necessary choice where you will need to decide to have peace of mind and stability or live in fear and chaos.
If he does not respect the law or any form of authority, do you think he will treat you with respect? Do you think he will remain faithful to you? Such a lifestyle will create a volatile, hectic, and worrisome environment for everyone around, especially if you are the wife.
Not knowing if they will come home each night, wondering if they will get shot at, killed, put in jail will be the way you function, and is this what you want in your future?
And if you end up having kids, how will you manage to discipline them? What kind of example would you set for your children regarding respecting and obeying their teachers and the elderly? What kind of parents will he become? And what will stop him from hurting you physically when they snare and laugh at the law in general?
Your whole life will become secretive, and you will find yourself covering for him, making excuses for his actions, lying to everyone. What might sound thrilling and daring at twenty years old might not be so ten years later, assuming that you would not be the same person you were at twenty when you reach thirty years of age.
How long can you survive living such a life before his actions cause catastrophic outcomes? You can only play with fire for so long before you get burned. Hatred for the law always creates other dangerous vice and harmful behaviors such as violence, abuse of drugs legal and illegal, becoming an alcoholic, and abuse ( verbal, physical, emotional, mental ). The list can go on.
And if you are still thinking, “but I love the bad guys,”! Remember this quote from Marilyn Vos Savant: “If your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another before you do anything, you should first decide whether you have a better head or a better heart.” More often than not, our head will try to conclude a matter based on facts and reality because our head reacts rationally and uses the knowledge resource. Most of the time, our hearts rely on feelings and ignore the truth and severity of the matter. ( Are you still with me?).
So reconsider being in a relationship with such an individual. Keeping in mind that lawlessness has not to benefit anyone who embraces it, the truth is you might have someone close to you ( friend, family members, coworkers ) or have known of someone that fits these criteria. You can personally confirm that guy or girl is in jail, has died, or has not accomplished anything positive nor fruitful with their life.
It takes courage, honesty, and knowing who you are to identify dangerous, destructive behaviors up close or from afar and realize that you are worth more and that you do not have to settle for a chaotic lifestyle.
Lastly, the Bible tells us this about bad company, “Do not be misled, bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33
Date with a purpose. Date with the end in mind.
I hope this was beneficial to you.
Until next time,
With love, Krysty.