How Do You Talk To Your Children About The Changes Crisis Brings?

Embracing the new normal

What is a “crisis”?

The Free Dictionary gave a couple of definition of the word crisis; here are a few:

• “A crisis is a crucial stage or turning point in the course of something.”
• “A crisis is a condition of instability.”
• “A crisis is an unstable situation of extreme danger or difficulties.”

The year 2020 has been very challenging, overwhelming, hard, and very difficult for many. The pandemic has created and revealed different issues and crisis in the entire world, and it has also affected each of us personally one way or another.

I know of so many families going through the sad reality of divorce, entrepreneurs that lose their businesses, properties, and almost all of their livelihood. How can you walk alongside your children as a parent to help them process the different stages of going through or being in the state of a crisis?

Here are three practical, positive, and necessary ways to approach your children during a time of crisis and to address the different changes that are happening or will occur during and after this crisis to the best of your abilities.

As a Life coach, I am a big advocate for a daily, on purpose self-care routine for everyone, especially husband and wife. Being a parent is hard and heart work, not to mention having to work outside the home.

For you, as a parent, to deal with a crisis of any kind, you must cultivate a habit of putting your oxygen mask on first before trying to assist, support, comfort, and help anyone else. As a parent, you want to offer your spouse and your children the best version of yourself. So how do you approach a crisis?

Step 1. First, you want to prepare yourself emotionally and mentally. What does that look like? Well, you want to make sure that both you and your spouse are on the same page, working as a team, agreeing on what exactly you will discuss and elaborate on with the children. Whether we are in a crisis or not, when it comes to your family’s dynamic, your children must see mom and dad as a glued team, working in unison for a particular purpose.

Now throw in the fact that we are all going through a very unpreceded crisis; now more than ever, as a parent, you need to have the sense of peace, control, and security that your children so desperately need in their lives.

So, you move forward into addressing the changes, being very aware of age-appropriate, and using discretion to decide what topic you will address first with your children: job loss? Talk about how things are going to change for you all as a family. Financially? Explain how, as a family, you might not be able to go on a vacation for a while, how you might not go out for dinner as often as you used to, and so on.

Make sure you are apparent in the details you choose to share and explain to your children and that they understand to some extent; it will take time for full knowledge and understanding to take place in your children’s mind, that is alright and normal. That is why you want to be wise with the amount you share, what you share, and how you share it with them.

Step 2: Be prepared and be aware emotionally and mentally for how your children will react to the news of the different changes in their lives due to the crisis. Some children will behave in a very neutral way, some will shut down entirely and will not want to participate or cooperate with anything, some have a complete outburst of emotions filled with fear, anxiety, panic, crying, and much more, and some will have a mindset of wanting to fix the issues caused by the crisis.

It will behave from the standpoint of a false sense of guilt. However, your children respond to the unwanted changes that come during and after the crisis, do your best to be proactive, and make sure not to react to their different mood swing, be their sense of order, security, and peace when their world feels like it is falling apart.

Step 3:

1. Make yourself available to be there for your children through this process.
2. Allow room for your children to talk to you, ask you all the questions they have.
3. Just listen and comfort them.

As a parent, you often tend to want to give your children the best of everything. You really do hate seeing your children struggling, hurt, and in distress, and there is really nothing wrong in itself with these aspirations.

However, while processing this crisis and adjusting to the changes it brings, do not allow yourself to be blinded by your mother instinct and fall into the trap of making promises you are not able to keep by wanting to reassure your children, and also do not let your emotions dictate any conversations you have with your children, when you feel lost, overwhelm let your children know that you will discuss the matter at a different time.

As the parents, you will experience your own turmoil and mood changes during this crisis, so allow room for grace, be patient with everyone and take time away from each other while also being with each other to refresh, renew and recharge.

Remember that all of this needs to be shared with your spouse. As a synced team, talking with your children will vary depending on your children’s age, their love language, strength, and weaknesses.

As their parents, you must be aware of all of these factors while approaching each of your children appropriately.

Also, times of crisis tend to reveal many things about ourselves we do not necessarily want to address; therefore, as your Life and Parent Coach, I highly advise both husband and wife to choose to make communication and expressing their thoughts with respect, patient, consideration and love a way of operating.

Life is hard; life is full of adventures; life is of challenges. A crisis will come at different times at different seasons of your life as an individual, as a parent, and wife. Knowing how to approach and address these periods of change properly is crucial to how you experience it all.

Because, the truth is, most of us do not like changes; for change can be translated as not having control over things in your life, lack of security, and assurance and often no peace of mind, starting over, which can be challenging, risky, and plain scary to many of us adult, let alone our children.

*Are you experiencing big changes in your life due to this pandemic and everything else this crisis has brought up?

*Are you and your spouse having a hard time knowing how to address these issues with your children?

*Are your children having a hard time dealing with your job loss, moving to a completely different state and school?

I desire to serve you as your Life and Parent coach on these issues that are important and necessary to engage in. I hope this article helps bring you some clarity into how to move forward now.

If this spoke to you and you have questions, email me your questions Krysty Kwally

Until next time, with love.

Certified

Life and Parent Coach,

Krysty.