Practicing the art of “Simplicity” in your marriage.
What does it mean to practice simplicity in your marriage?
As I’ve already mentioned in Practicing Simplicity in your Parenting Journey, every aspect of life affects your parenting journey. And one of the things that influence your children’s life the most is your relationship with your spouse.
Your marriage is your children’s first exposure to the concept of what “marriage” is supposed to be between husband and wife. How can the practice of simplicity help you portray a godly and healthy marriage to your children? Let’s go over what the word “simplicity” means once again.
Simplicity:
*Freedom and Absence from Complications.
*Clarity of expression.
*Freedom from deceit.
When pondering these different definitions, ask yourself, which aspects of my marriage can I apply these concepts?
Having worked with many families for the past ten years, I have seen many marriages end in divorce. One of the reasons I decided to become a Certified Life and Parent Coach was that I saw so many unhappy wives in all my years of work as a family assistant. These women genuinely loved their family and wanted to do all they could to make each family member happy, but no matter what they did, these women were miserable.
Life feels repetitive; with each passing day, these mothers continue to feel overwhelmed, unheard, lonely, disconnected, and lose in their marriage. They began to realize that married life was not what they anticipated when they were dating. With responsibilities, children, and pressure from every corner, they cannot remember when they had some “me time” or the last time they were intimate with their husband.
This heartbreaking reality troubled me profoundly. As an outsider, I decided to study, observe, and understand the many reasons why so many married women experience such a high level of disconnect, unhappiness, and loneliness. I have much to learn and understand as a Life Coach. And although I mainly work with women, my coaching tips and strategies apply to both men and women.
Yet, if there is one thing I am sure of, it is the fact that loads and unnecessary weight in anyone’s life do more harm than good in every aspect, especially in their marriage. Loads keep us in bondage and keep us from functioning at our full potential.
I share all this to say, applying simplicity in your marriage is a wise, beneficial, and godly practice overall.
Here are a few steps that will help you utilize simplicity in your marital life. As you go through them, talk with your spouse, and spend time identifying where in your marriage, you both can start applying simplicity.
*Step #1: Have shared values, belief systems, and goals.
Simplicity means “Freedom from complications.” How does sharing the same values, beliefs, and goals with your spouse contribute to a marriage free of complications, for the most part? Two people cannot go in the same direction, work on the same goals or vision without agreeing on the foundational things.
In a marriage where husbands and wives share different views on core issues such as religion, politics, and money, they are likely bound to live in constant friction, disagreements, and frustrations.
Step # 2: Make healthy and constructive communication the way you operate.
Simplicity means “Freedom from deceit.” How does this apply? Nothing is more poisonous than a marriage that lacks transparent, respectful, and uplifting communication. Furthermore, a couple that cannot be vulnerable with one another will always feel disconnected. When there’s a lack of open, honest, and respectful communication, it gets relatively easy to allow deceit and lies to settle in and create animosity between husband and wife.
Step # 3:Have Clear and Healthy boundaries set at an early age in the marriage.
Simplicity means “Clarity of expression.”. How can you implement this in your marriage? As a Life Coach, I’ve noticed that one of the reasons why many couples struggle in their marriage is the failure to set healthy and clear boundaries in their marital relationship. Every individual needs clear boundaries in their lives.
Why? Because Boundaries is a tool you have in your life that indicate what kind of treatment you will tolerate. In a marriage, boundaries are very crucial for the well being of both husband and wife. Noone wants to feel unappreciated, unheard, disrespected, and belittled in any relationship, and a lack of boundaries will eventually cause that to occur.
So much more can be said on this topic, but I decided to pick only these three steps because they were the right place to start for any marriage regardless of how heavy and overwhelming its loads are.
A simplified marriage allows room for the most important relationships,such as:
- Spend intentional and unrushed time with your children and your spouse together.
- Have quality alone time by yourself without your spouse. \ Set your mind to work on mutual goals.
- Spend time learning each other’s love language and enneagram number.
- Study the Bible and read good books together.
- Cherish and nurture one another.
These are just a few things you will have room and time to do after embracing simplicity in your marriage. But the essential thing, in the end, is the life lessons your children will gain by watching what a godly marriage is like when they look at mom and dad.
If you resonate with anything I just shared, and you would like to change the course of your life, please don’t hesitate toget in touch with me. I would be more than glad to chat with you and learn how I can best serve you and your family.
Email: livingasawhole@gmail.com
Until next time,
With love, Krysty.
