Appreciating Positive Masculinity in Bollywood with Aditya Kashyap from “Jab We Met”

Aditya meets Geet very randomly on a train. Although annoyed initially at Geet’s incessant chatter and overbearing nature, he’s quick to fall for her. All the while knowing that she’s in love with another man and doesn’t really want anything to do with Aditya other than enlisting his help to catch the train she missed, she won’t take no for an answer — “Koi doubt mat rakhna dil me! Sikhni hu main Bhatinda ki!”

The entire movie focuses on Geet, and we almost miss what a sweet man Aditya is. He doesn’t whine about being friendzoned. He deeply appreciates Geet’s friendship even though he’s in love with her. He is grateful for the new perspective on life he discovered, thanks to Geet.

When Geet, once again, tricks Aditya into helping her elope to her boyfriend, Aditya doesn’t complain. He doesn’t emotionally blackmail her into being with him instead. He understands she is her own person and she will do what her heart desires. He respects her decisions and stands by her, even though her decisions are breaking his heart.

When they end up together alone in a hotel after she has been rejected by her boyfriend, and they share a rather accidental moment of intimacy, and she draws away from him, he doesn’t display the typical Bollywood heroism and force a kiss upon her. He doesn’t say infuriating stuff like, “tum meri ho” and whatnot. He takes the hint the moment she withdraws consent, and takes every measure to minimize her embarrassment.

While it’s heartbreaking that in 2019 the same actor who played Aditya Kashyap would go on to play the awful example of toxic masculinity — Kabir Singh, we will always have Aditya.

Aditya, the man who doesn’t feel the need to raise his voice at his lady, doesn’t touch her without her consent, doesn’t get into ridiculous displays of machismo, but rather upholds a form of masculinity that we need. He isn’t afraid to be kind, and caring, and nurturing. He isn’t threatened by a woman speaking her mind and doing things her way. He isn’t afraid to shed tears while someone is watching.

I, for one, would certainly pick him over Kabir Singh any day!

P.S. Yes, I am aware of the manic pixie dream girl trope that is Geet’s character, but that’s a story for another day.