Gravel races and riding in the present moment
Co2uT Desert Gravel, Utah Raptor 125
May 14, 2023
When we try our hardest, we don’t always win. Sometimes we end far from the podium, but we always learn, and if we’re lucky, we discover something new about ourselves. This is a big reason I ride my bike.
I have the most understanding, supportive mother in the world. We celebrated Mother’s Day on Friday night at a delightful restaurant in Denver so that I could drive out to Fruita again this past weekend and race my bike on Mother’s Day. I did not realize it was Mother’s Day weekend when months earlier I signed up for Co2uT. I signed up for it because it was a race that went from Colorado to Utah and back, through places where the dinosaurs walked. How cool is that?! It just seemed like a cool race and a great way to get needed miles into my legs as I prepare for my big race this summer.
The FAQs warned us that this race is:
Hard. And, for us that is the point. We want you to challenge and test yourself, get out of your comfort zone and overcome it. This is why we have 5 distances. Giving you several levels of “hard” to choose what is right for you…
Want the full, kick your ass, ride an EPIC experience? Take on our 125 miler with more than 7,000′ of climbing!
Of course I wanted an EPIC experience. So I signed up for the Utah Raptor. A week after laying down 134 miles at 18 Hours of Fruita, I felt fairly well recovered. I drove out to Fruita on Saturday (a little sleepy so it took longer at the wheel) and got there in time to pre-ride part of the course. Trying to catch onto the group shakeout ride, I pulled my Cervelo Aspero gravel bike out and went out a little fast. As the bike bounced on the road over the gravel, it was at this moment that I realized that this would be challenging. I met some super nice guys from Utah who were pre-riding the course, and to say the scenery was breathtaking is an understatement. After the shakeout ride, I went to my hotel, checked in and then met up with Julie and David at packet pickup. We got our numbers, then went to dinner enjoying time to catch up outside as we waited for the rider meeting.
At the rider meeting, the race organizer conveyed his love for the desert and this ride, and I felt even more excited (and now a little nervous) for the ride. I had the choice at any point in the race to turn back early and take a shorter route (the 75 or the 100 mile would have been just as impressive), but I decided to not give myself those options by leaving the routes off my Garmin. The night before the race I found it difficult to sleep. I went over my plan again and again in my head and also discovered that I had an older course in my Garmin, so I fidgeted a lot… With my drop bag. With my Garmin. In my mind. It was mental fidgeting. Finally I went to sleep.
I woke up at 5:45 AM, ate my Clif bar, and went to the start. At the start I discovered a saggy front tire with some fresh-ish sealant coming out. Would it hold? I put the area of concern down to let more sealant heal the spot, and it coagulated appropriately to stop the leak. Off to the starting line.
They counted us down, and at 7AM we were off. Onto 7 miles of road in a neutral (but definitely not slow) start, heading toward the famous 18 Road where it turned to gravel. I drafted with the group and worked to keep my heart rate down. It was important to be in a group and also not burn matches before the race began. Where the gravel started the race began. The road surfaces varied, but really most of the race was on dirt and gravel, as billed, which was super cool. And, as billed, the course was brutal! Although no technical single track, it was relentless in pounding the body. There were areas with signs labeled “Dino breeding grounds” which were where cows had traversed in muddy conditions, laying down thousands of holes and divots that you just had to ride over, pounding the body on the bike. These were like water bars but so many and relentless pounding. There were patches of sand in areas, but it was mostly rideable — just something to keep us on our toes. There were these longitudinal tracks to keep the bike centered on so you didn’t clip a pedal as you rode, and also these divots at the bottom of each descent where you had to harness some pump track skills to take in that quick dip before the next climb. For the uninitiated, when you ride on a gravel bike, this is like a road bike with wider tires, and unlike the bike I rode the previous week, there is no suspension. There is no shock absorber in the bike itself, so the rider becomes the shock absorber. So how you ride this really matters.
I felt good on the first climb, but the descents started to stretch me from the group. Ever since my bike accident in West Virginia on a gravel patch on the side of the road, I have had an respect for gravel on descents, and I know this is something I need to work on (just like descending on my mountain bike). I realized without confident descending skills this would be a longer day. But also a chance to work on it over the entire course. Throughout the day struggled with the pounding of the course and descending. As the fast racers in the other distances who started later passed me, I realized that they ride this differently. They fly through the technical terrain, and although the natural reaction I think is to grip the bars tighter, people who ride gravel use a loose grip, so they’re not absorbing each and every bump throughout their body. Noted. At one point my headset bolts came loose so I stopped to tighten the bars. All good.
We rode out across the state line into Utah. Out there you’re really riding where the dinosaurs roamed, and it feels, well Jurassic. It’s a different beauty that we have on the other side of the continental divide, and I love it. The strata in the rock and sand, it’s like riding on another planet. As the day progressed, I continued to feel each and every bump of the road. At each aid station I quickly got my fuel and at the drop bag aid station I re-lubed my chain to help it sustain the race and the grinding through sand and dirt.
As I rode back, from mile 65 or so on, my hands and feet were really sore. I had “hot foot” with each pedal stroke and felt the pressure of my hands from all the pounding. I took a couple of breaks, just a minute or two not moving to bring relief, but you have to keep going. I refused the bailout options and by the time you’re coming back from the mile 84 aid station, you just have to ride back. So I took in the scenery and gave it my best effort. I put out “right effort” as George Mumford writes.
During this event, my inner critic, “Reviewer #2,” didn’t really show up. I didn’t think about the increased stresses in our workplace right now. Work was literally over 250 miles away. I think in large part because gravel biking grabs you and forces you into the present moment due to the minute-to-minute challenges of the terrain. I was really present with the pain in my hands and balls of my feet, but instead of it driving me to despair, I somehow let it settle in and just know it’d be something to ride with until the 7 miles of pavement leading to the finish line. I’m re-reading (re-listening) to the book The Mindful Athlete, and sports psychologist and mindfulness expert, George Mumford, writes about how mindfulness is seeing that space between stimulus and response. I feel like the physical nature of gravel racing had me living in this space for hours. The ride became a physical manifestation of mindfulness. I decided to work on each segment of the race and set an intention to ride it with the best technique I had in me at that moment. Toward that end it wasn’t pretty. The last miles of downhill pavement felt like bliss as I TT’d it in the drops and raced to the finish. And so when I crossed the finish line, I was sore but not broken. In fact, I felt a little more whole.
I finished the race in just under 11 hours. It was a long day on the bike. But it definitely was a great day on the bike. I gained a respect for the challenging terrain (and all my fellow racers who completed all distances of the course). I learned so much, about gravel biking and about myself. And as the pain dissipates from my hands and feet, I’m getting that feeling inside that I’ll be back next year. I now have a time to beat.
Many thanks to the race organizers, volunteers, and fellow riders who made this race the epic event it was. Also thank you to my family, who again watched my sweet creampuff and always support me, and to Coach Jason of Team Wilpers, for getting me to the start line and giving me the skills and fitness to get to the finish.
