Life & Relationship Lessons from Listening to Justin Bieber

1. Don’t blame others for what’s going on in your life. Own it! Take responsibility for what happens in your life.

All the times that you rain on my parade

And all the clubs you get in using my name

The truth is, nobody can really rain on your parade. Unless you let them to.

Also, girl gets in clubs using your name? That’s not just her, that’s also you, letting her.

I’ve done this multiple times, too. Blaming the other person constantly for whatever is going on in my life. Making myself the victim of whatever shittiness that happens in my life. When you allow yourself to constantly be a victim, life becomes a game where you lose all the time.

In one of my previous jobs, I blamed my boss for the shitty work I “had” to do. Not realizing, that it’s not his fault that I was unhappy. I simply was already unhappy. I didn’t listen to my heart. This never was the kind of work I want to be doing. Nobody forced me to take that job. It was my own choice.

Once you really look into a situation that you gotten yourself into, you’ll only realize that you on your own had gotten yourself into this mess. So, you’re the one who should really pull yourself out of the mess. Of course, when you take responsibility of your own life, then you can certainly ask for help. But asking for help is your choice & your own responsibility to do so, if you want to. Life is about choices. Always. What do you choose now?

[…]

For all the times that you made me feel small

I fell in love, now I feel nothing at all

One last time, nobody can make you feel anything. Nobody can make you do anything. It’s your own feeling & doing. Own it! Somebody makes you feel small? Well, you chose to feel small. And you chose somebody who made you feel small. Ask yourself, why? And why did you stay with that person?

2. Don’t try to be a strong person by covering up your feelings and emotions. That shit doesn’t make you strong. That shit doesn’t work.

You think you broke my heart

Ohhh girl for goodness sake

You think I’m crying

Oh my ohhh, well I ain’t!

[…]

I never felt so low when I was vulnerable

Was I a fool to let you break down my walls?

If you think someone broke your heart and it makes you sad, then by all means, cry. No point in covering that up. That doesn’t make you weak.

I thanked my ex-boyfriend for calling me a robot & ice queen, a long time ago. Because I was being a robot and an ice queen. I thought feeling vulnerable was for losers and strong girls shouldn’t cry. That gotten me nowhere. What I was left with were pent-up emotions: sadness, anger, depression.

It took me years of reflection, self-help books, journaling, talking to therapists & coaches, introspection, self-awareness work, to finally learn that emotion is just energy in motion. Let it pass through you. Don’t hold anything back. Feel what you need to feel at that moment, that’s the only way to let go.

To feel things is scary, because nobody likes to feel hurt.

When there are no walls, no safety net, around the vicinity of your own heart, wow, that sounds scary, isn’t it? But we forget that the heart’s most natural state is love. The heart has an infinite capacity to give and receive love. Love is the only thing that would be in the heart, as soon as all these negative emotions pass through. The emotions aren’t there to stay in your heart. They want to move, they want to be in motion. We are the ones who hold them back and don’t let them go. The only way to let it go is to feel and allow the love to surface.

That’s what being strong actually means.

Sorry, Biebs.

3. Don’t let other people’s opinions or thoughts control your life. Unless you want to be their puppet.

And I didn’t wanna write a song

’Cause I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care, I don’t

[…]

My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone

If you feel like writing a song, do it. If your mama doesn’t like her, but you do, that’s okay. Letting others control you goes back to point #1: you’re not taking responsibility of your own life. You’re giving others power over your life. That sounds exhausting, powerless, and weak.

Now, we have covered three Don’ts, the last two lessons are all from the Girl angle. And these are the Dos:

4. Do speak your truth. Even when that truth will get a certain tattoo-ed up popstar to dump you.

When you told me that you hated my friends

The only problem was with you and not them

And every time you told me my opinion was wrong

And tried to make me forget where I came from

Speak your truth, just don’t be a jerk about it. Probably don’t try to make your boyfriend forget where he came from, that’s weird.

But if you don’t like your boyfriend’s friends, then yes, don’t hang out with them, be honest with yourself.

PS: If I’m this Girl, yes, probably I will not like my boyfriend’s friends too. Why? It’s obvious that this Boy really cares about what his friends think of him. Jim Rohn said that: You are the sum of the average five people you hang out with the most. So, if the Boy is not a cool person, his friends are probably not that cool either. But I digress, no judgment there.

Just be honest with yourself.

Speaking your truth means that you are saying whatever you’re feeling in your heart. It’s being open and vulnerable without the intention of manipulating the outcome.

5. Do actually love yourself and yes, by all means, do like the way you look THAT much.

’Cause if you like the way you look that much

Oh baby, you should go and love yourself

And if you think that I’m still holdin’ on to somethin’

You should go and love yourself

I know that this was supposed to be Biebs’ insult to the Girl, and probably Biebs was being polite & child friendly saying “love yourself” instead of “F yourself”.

But, funny enough, this was the ultimate lesson in this song.

Yes, go frikkin love yourself. And yes, you should like the way you look.

Why wouldn’t you? Who would do that for you if you don’t start with yourself. Everyone else is busy choosing & loving themselves, so, you go do you. Choose yourself. In Biebs’ lingo: your mama loves you, but even your mama needs to love herself first before she can love you. Because you can’t give others what you don’t have yourself.

Life is a mirror and a reflection. What you give yourself, you can give to others. You can give people money, when you actually have money. You can make people happy, when you’re happy. You can’t give others money or happiness, if you have neither.

If you don’t like the way you look, you’ll always going to judge others based on how they look. If you don’t love yourself, then how can you love others?

And I never like to admit that I was wrong

And I’ve been so caught up in my job

Didn’t see what’s going on

But now I know

I’m better sleeping on my own

Somebody who never likes to admit they’re wrong & is too busy with work, well, this person does sound like he might be happier sleeping alone.

But that’s okay, everyone has their own journey & path. It’s all about choices. You can always choose differently every moment. Or not.