7 Pathways to Become Resilient

Can you imagine that this Covid-19 pandemic has been around for almost a year now? Time flies really fast and we are almost at the end of 2020. What should be a beautiful year turns to be a very tough year for a lot of us. I know there are a lot of uncertainties in work-life, family, health, relationships, finances, etc. You may also feel the tension from emotional and mental strain which might lead you to mood swings, concentration problems, anxiety, stress, or even depression. Worry not, all these are very normal for a human being, and sometimes those feelings haunt me too ;)

This situation has led me to think about resilience. Why does resilience become so popular lately? I found a good definition of the word resilient which is suitable for the current pandemic condition.

“The capacity of a person to directly marshal actions and strategies that seek to eliminate or reduce stressors, as well as their general capacity to endure stressful events and return to better functioning.”

Yes, we need to be resilient to manage our stress. Go beyond to bounce back and deal with stresses. Stress can literally be triggered by anything, any happenings around us. Well, the good news is… *drumroll* Stress is a choice and it can be significantly reduced by focusing only on what we want. Managing stress is important so we can enjoy our life more. And who is responsible to take care of our life? Yeppp, you are right! The answer is ourselves!

Here are some tips that I want to share on how to build resilience:

Change your perception

We can only control what is inside. You can not avoid any external factors or others’ reactions to us. Think of a moment when you have lots of projects and you feel overwhelmed like your tasks are just never ending. Eliminate that thought. Think the other way. Chunk your tasks for a while and celebrate small wins. Small wins show progress and it can increase your spirit and mood. Don’t blame or complain about the overloaded tasks. It would not go anywhere and would not solve anything. Have a growth mindset when you face challenges. Think of it as part of the process to step up. Try to reframe something positive. It helps to change your perception.

Sharpen your skills

Focus on what you want to achieve, rather than what you hope to avoid. An important way to deal with stress is to look at the nature of “demands” and enhance the skills needed. For example, if you have some anxiety about public speaking, you can practice sharing in your small group, or giving talks on internal events. Rehearsal is important. Skill development requires a capacity for learning. All of us can learn, but the learning process itself, the ability to adapt, is a skill.

Try meditation and practice mindfulness

With meditation, you can train your mind to focus and redirect your thoughts. You can use it to increase awareness of yourself and your surroundings. Meditation has a lot of types; it depends on what you want to practice. Meditation and mindfulness are like mirror; mindfulness supports meditation, while meditation nurtures mindfulness. Mindfulness is to focus your feelings about present time without judgement. Through these practices, you increase your self-awareness, which leads us to be able to recognize your talents, your potential, and your shortcomings. Emotional stability is vital to protect you from panic burnout and to prepare for the roller coaster of experiences in life.

Shape your environment

Sometimes your mood is affected by the ambiance, right? So why don’t you start to redesign your workplace, for example, try to set up the ergonomic work environment, set the aromatherapy, buy a plant, etc. You can also try to have better time management to help you set up your new environment. Start to do scheduling and be disciplined to comply with it. Remember to do important & urgent things first. By the way, I also have a “zero inbox” habit. I will try to catch up on all the emails at night. So, if there are any priority tasks, it becomes my first to fo list the next day. Better time management is a way to show that we care about ourselves.

Connect with your relations

Loneliness can negatively impact brain processes and cause inflammation in the body. It could be a factor of genetics, but also a result of unhelpful thoughts and negative beliefs about others. The more you are connected with other people, the more likely you are to discuss situations that cause you to stress and get inputs from them. I guess with all the restrictions we have today, it’s indeed a good time to contact your long lost childhood friend, set up a virtual catch up with friends and family.

Love your own body

Exercise, healthy eating, and enough sleep are natural immune boosters that we need, especially during pandemic. Being aware of your current state of lifestyle and making necessary changes if needed can really develop your underlying resilience. I always push myself to have a simple home workout every day. Nowadays, you can just find the video on Youtube. I also try to have dinner not later than 6PM and try to lower my consumption of fried food. When your body is fit, your mood will be better and you can think clearly. Remember that a small change makes a significant impact. You can experiment various approaches to figure out what works best for you. The aim is to bring exciting change while enjoying it.

Do social activities

Trust me, through social activities, you can feel more grateful in life. Since WFH, I have built a new habit — when an ojek driver delivers something to my house, I usually give them some snacks or drinks. A simple gesture, but I believe it also affects their mood. Surprisingly, when I give I feel happier :)

I know it’s not easy to practice these tips. It is like building a habit where you need constant practice and commitment. Before this pandemic hits us, I live my life just like usual, I don’t have any strong motivation to improve myself (doesn’t mean that I drastically become very ambitious, too, tho’). I was just letting everything flow as it is. But after I tried to implement these steps, I am able to appreciate all the little things that I get even in this hard situation. I am also more prepared to equip myself, so I am ready to face all other challenges that are full of uncertainties in the future.

There are several questions to reflect to yourself, If I can be a better version of myself now why should I become an ordinary person? How can I be more impactful to my surroundings? How can I be more adaptive with the current situation and win over it?

However, to fight for change tomorrow, we need to build resilience today. It’s never too late to start!