I Swear I’m Paying Attention
I have ADHD. I also have chronic depression and anxiety. My brain can be a funky place on a good day and a scary one on the bad days. I rely on medications to keep on an even keel, but I am still affected each and every day by the quirks of my brain. If I miss even one day of my meds, it can ruin my whole week as I scramble to recover. Don’t recommend that.
ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurodevelopmental disorder that impacts about 4% of adults in the United States. The most common symptoms are difficulty staying focused, hyperactivity, and trouble controlling your behavior. These symptoms can vary widely in severity from person to person, as do treatment options and coping strategies. Women with ADHD are more likely to be misdiagnosed, diagnosed later in life, and have depression and anxiety in conjunction with ADHD.
The goal of ADHD treatment is management of symptoms to help us live happy and healthy lives, not “cure” us.
ADHD is a type of neurodiversity, an umbrella that covers those of us whose brains don’t work the same as the “typical” brains of the majority of society. Neurodiversity was coined to emphasize that there isn’t just one way to think and that the differences are not (necessarily) a bad thing.
I have learned a few ways to work with my brain, instead of trying to force it to work more typically. I am incapable of not multitasking. This can be a good thing when I’m taking notes in a meeting, or keeping track of the million and one things on my to-do list, but if I don’t write it down or put it in my calendar, it ain’t going to happen.
I set aside time each week to review my to-do lists (because of course I have several), and I split up large projects into the smallest chunks that I can. I get the dopamine hit from checking the box for each task, which makes it easier to pivot to the next thing. Complete task, cross it off, happy brain time, repeat.
Another coping strategy that I’ve found is to keep my hands busy while I’m in meetings. So if you see me sewing, fidgeting, or glancing at messages, don’t worry! That is me paying attention.
I am still learning how to better work with my brain, and I know I have a long way to go. Propeller gives me an environment where I feel safe to talk about the bad days and ask for help when I need it.
Speaking openly about having ADHD with my coworkers and my manager has meant that my habits and behaviors that can seem rude or distracted make more sense to them (like me fidgeting in meetings.)
ADHD doesn’t excuse my behavior, but it does explain that behavior, which goes a long way in working better with my colleagues.
I got lucky finding Propeller, and the luck continues as I’ve changed roles in my time here. I have felt empowered to pursue my interests and solve problems. Tech requires the ability to change direction quickly, look for ways to improve what exists, and build what needs to be. Good thing my funky little brain craves new experiences.
