Searching for Sam Malone

Okay let’s play a little game. Who’s heard of David Chang? Okay, what about Grant Achatz? Okay, now a really easy one: Bobby Flay? Cool. Okay, how about…um…Tony Conigliaro? Maybe? Come onnnnn….Tony Conigliaro…okay then…Jamie Macdonald…Jay Jones…Lauren Mote…Jamie Boudreau? No??? Morimoto? There we go…

Okay, so we’ve just established that you know your chefs more than your bartenders. I hate to point fingers but the Food (point, point) Network has obviously had a huge hand in this recognition. Surely though, you must have at least recognized one of the bartender names from the Bar Network righ—(there isn’t a Bar Network?) well that comes as a surprise. I’m serious. I mean why not? If Cupcake Wars is a thing, then there’s got to be room for some bartender content right?

Now by no means is this the Food Network’s fault. The “F” word is in their title so obviously they are focused on the chewable side of the universe. I’m just questioning as to why there are very few, if any “Household-name” bartenders.

Tattoo artists have cracked it. They don’t just have one weekly show, they have several. There is such a huge audience for this style of programming that it justifies running “marathons” of these shows.

So where’s the bartender? Bartenders and Tattoo artists share the same clientele, same demographic, the same audience. So once again, what time is that bartending show on?

Bartenders, like chefs and tattoo artists, are brand builders. Winning a major bar competition isn’t about the prize, it’s about the press. To progress as a bartender is to eventually carve enough of a reputation to own your own establishment, the same goal as chefs and tattoo artists.Hold on, let me just check my t.v. times here and…nope, still not on…..

So what’s the issue? Is it because bartenders are seen as rough around the edges? Is the craft we dabble in still socially taboo?Are craft cocktails not in-style enough? The answers to these questions in order are: Gordan Ramsey (we’ll also accept Bourdain), Tattoos, and Mad Men. So…where’s the bartender?

Is there no market for our kind of content? Well, you just answered that by clicking on this link, didn’t you? Here’s something else to consider:We own the largest market share. More people come to see bartenders annually than anyone in any other profession. U2 and Jay-Z can’t compete with our audience numbers. Oprah reaches less people. Where’s the bartender?

Well, he or she is behind the well by night, having the most intriguing, raw, entertaining interactions captured only by security cams mounted to view the back of their heads. By day, they are back behind the bar, crafting house-made bitters,syrups and tinctures,working with their kitchen team to design garnishes, out visiting their local farmers market, distillery or apiary to hand select ingredients, doing ice-work, training their young padawans, and reading their kids bedtime stories before their shift.

Would that be worth tuning in to see? I think so.

So where’s the bartender?

Cheers.