You Got Served
7 Steps to Becoming the Perfect Patron
1. Respond Accordingly to Your Bartender
Establish rapport. If I greet you with “Hi, how are you?” do not respond “vodka soda.” You feel like a vodka soda, you however are not feeling “vodka soda.”
Tell me how you are feeling (my job is to make your night, I need the info) and by all means, take the time to introduce yourself. I want to know who you are not just what you drink.
2. Become Predictable
Choose one type of cocktail, one brand of beer and a shot. Make them your 3 possible weapons of choice. When you want another one, catch my eye and mime the movement and size of the glass or bottle to me, and I will get you another. No words need be spoken. When you become predictable, you become the easiest client at my bar to accommodate, therefore, when I see you walking in, odds are your poison is already awaiting your arrival.
3. Jason is Dead to Me
If you are ordering for a group, have the order ready for me. I’m not going to wait for you to yell across the room to “Jason” to try to find out what he wants. Jason isn’t here. Jason is dead to me. Have everyone’s cash and tip estimated and in your hand or run a tab. No debit, no split bills. Don’t even think about firing up your “tip calculator app.”
Figure it all out ahead of time or don’t call me over.
4. Stake Your Claim
Pick a spot. Always arrive there. Corner of the bar, dead center, to the left of the third beer tap, I don’t care. Wherever you feel most comfortable at my establishment, stick to it. You’ll be served faster, and I’ll know where to place your predictable drink to await your arrival when you walk in the door.
5. Know Thy Staff
Learn the names of all the staff. From the doorman, to the host to the kitchen to the bar. The better we know you, the easier it is to look after you in all aspects.
6. Pay My Bills. Pay My Auto-Mo-Bills
Tip exorbitantly. Seriously. Make my night and I will make yours every time you walk in. I follow this rule and receive roughly 4 times the amount of beverages than my actual bill is on a regular basis and I never have to wait in line, pay cover or wait for service. If you drink $40 dollars’ worth of booze and your bill is $8.50, give the barman $50. You’re actually paying less than what you would have with tip, and you’re showing respect to the bartender, his generosity and his respect for you.
7. Thanks Given
Regardless of the tip, thank the staff on your way out. Shake hands and pay respect to the good people that made your night along the way.
I want to make your night. It’s why I do what I do. Make it easy for me to do what I do. Follow the above 7 Steps and we’ll be that much closer to world peace.
