When the Trail Forks
Getting back on track when you’ve gone your own way
I’ve learned just recently how important it is to pray about a decision before making it.
Everything seemed to make perfect sense and by all accounts I was about to step into a position for which I was destined. I had just ended a two year desert experience in Texas and I just knew that now was the time when I would occupy my promised land and take my place as the worship pastor for a small church plant. I could hardly wait for the six months to pass so we could make the move across the country from Texas to Indiana.
Fueled by a word that my cousin had received years before about the two of us doing ministry together I was sure this was it. It was time for us to plant a church. It seemed so clear in fact that I didn’t feel much need to pray about it, “of course this is it!” I would think. “It just makes sense!” Things making sense has been a crutch for me. I’ll admit it. Whether or not God speaks on a situation is secondary to my ability to make sense out of it… Golly that seems much uglier when it’s written out like that… It’s the truth though. As long as I could find a way to “figure it out” or “make it happen” I would be willing to step into any situation if I wanted it bad enough, and I wanted this.
Things started out difficult, to put it lightly. From day one it was a battle. I attributed most of the struggle to my own insecurity and inability to lead, which is common for anyone who steps into something on their own without God’s favor or prompting. I felt very alone, and even though I could have been seeking Him more that wasn’t why I felt alone. I felt alone because I had walked away from His best and now I was walking down a fork in the trail by myself. How do I know this? Well as things got progressively worse and I felt more and more unsure of whether or not I should be serving in the role I was in I decided to do what I should have done at first, pray.
In my prayer I saw a path in the woods and I was walking with Jesus. We were both walking along the same trail together but up ahead I can see a fork in the trail and I know this fork is the point when I decided to take on this role at the church. I see myself taking the right fork as he stays on the left. I hadn’t asked for His input and had taken the wrong path. I kept walking but I could tell that there were only a few feet between his path and mine, so it wasn’t as if I would never be able to walk with him again, this was only a minor setback and easily corrected soon, the paths were about to converge. I asked forgiveness for taking the wrong path, which he was quick to give as always. We’re all good.
Now my focus is different. I’m not looking to do what I want anymore, I just want to do what he wants, that’s all. It’s incredibly humbling to have to admit that you were wrong and that you moved without praying first. But, it’s worth it. The peace I’ve felt since discovering all of this has been incredible, and most welcome!
So, why am I telling you this? Because it’s not too late! Granted, sometimes you’re SUPPOSED to walk through difficult situations, but just because something is difficult doesn’t mean it’s God-lead and that you’re supposed to grin and just trudge through it. Sometimes your circumstances have no peace because they’re outside of the will of God. Be willing to humble yourself and ask Him why you’re struggling so much in your situation. Sometimes He’ll tell you you’re struggling because you need to depend on Him to get you through it, but sometimes He’ll tell you that you took a fork when you should have followed Him, and that’s okay too! His love is amazing!
