A Moment of Joy and Perspective
Prompt: If you could have dinner with any three people, who would they be and why?
Thinking about who I would like to have dinner with is an interesting question. I got to ask myself that question a couple years ago when I got lucky one night at an auction. As a last minute invite to replace my boss’s wife who couldn’t attend, I wasn’t the ideal candidate to attend an auction. Even the fresh baked batch of local bakery cookies in the silent auction went for more than was within my budget.
In order to contribute to the cause, I purchased a raffle ticket. Turned out to be a good move. My lucky ticket was drawn and I won the magic paddle which gave me $2,000 to spend in the live auction- woo hoo! With inspiration from my tipsy table-mates, I bid on anything that was less than $2,000 to drive the price point up to do my part in helping fund child cancer research and eventually got lucky enough to take home a prize- dinner for 16 at Zupan’s, complete with four courses and wine pairings. Not too shabby.
The fun part was deciding who to invite. 16 is a lot more than three. It was a tough choice, but I landed on family and some friends who I thought would be the most delighted to enjoy a fancy four course, wine paired dinner. I was not disappointed by my decision.
But I digress…
Three dinner guests is even harder than 16. Do I want a fun evening? Do I want to talk to someone who has passed that I miss? Do I want to interview a famous person about their life experience?
One of my favorite things is to hear life stories. People’s stories are always so profound and shed so much light on who they are and how we all experience the world differently. I love riding in a Lyft or an airplane and getting a peek into a stranger’s world.
As I pondered various scenarios for dinner, what I long for the most is an opportunity to learn and explore the world through another person’s story. With that decided, I whittled my guest list down three; two people who are alive and one person who is dead.
Malire Assad… or… The Story Teller
My first guess would be Malire Assad*. She traveled here as an international student years ago and ended up being my Graduate Teacher Assistant for two years as I studied a foreign language in college. While under her instruction, I was eager to learn the language and the culture, but also very busy with other college things. At times, I was the only student under her instruction, but embarrassingly, I would occasionally fall asleep during class (hard for the teacher to miss that one). So while I made decent progress and joined her for cultural learning dinners with her friends, in retrospect, I didn’t delve as deeply into the subject as I wish I had.
In years since, I’ve read about her home country in the news. Her people have been accused of terrorism, have had their religious practices re-educated, and have generally been under a very heavy hand. My teacher herself was unable to return home due to her decision to teach her language abroad.
In retrospect, I wish I had taken the opportunity to become better friends with my teacher. I would have loved to hear about her childhood, her decision to pursue education and leave the home she loved, her perspective on world events as they have unfolded.
I would love to sit with her and ask a million questions I wish I had asked then.
Rosamie Ongoco… or … The Analyst
My second guest, Rosamie Ongoco*, would probably be a quick friend of Ms. Assad. This woman is the wife of my co-worker who lives abroad in the Philippines. My coworker is originally of Afghani heritage, grew up in the US, and moved to the Philippines to marry his wife.
She is a PhD in global economics. She splits her time between mentoring youth through a non-profit she started and advising the UN on policy issues impacting Southeast Asia.
I would love to get to know this woman who’s life has taken such an interesting course. To hear stories about her childhood- What is it like to grow up in the Philippines? What inspired her to pursue the topics covered in her thesis? What has she experienced in the mentoring work she’s done for youth and for government officials?
I would love to hear my two guests swap stories over a shared meal together. What would each person’s unique life experiences draw out of the other? What commonalities do we share? What have they seen that I’ve missed?
Clive Staples Lewis… Or… The Philosopher
The dead person I’m throwing in the mix is CS Lewis.
I was mentored in my Christian faith in many ways by this dead man. I didn’t understand the need for the death and resurrection of Jesus until I read about Aslan returning to life from death so that Edmond didn’t have to be killed by the White Witch. Concepts of heaven and hell were confusing until I read about a school bus of people set in their ways choosing to return to isolation rather than enter into the weight of a kingdom ruled by a Prince of Peace. I may have walked away from my faith altogether if I hadn’t read his rationale in Mere Christianity or how he grappled with faith and atheism in Surprised by Hope.
What a joy it would be to hear directly from his mouth, the stories of growing up in England, enduring World War II, sharing cigars with JRR Tolkien.
Aside from a million other questions, I’d be very curious to listen to his interactions with my two other friends at the table. I’d be curious to know how his faith philosophy interacts with the colonialism and oppression witnessed and experienced by these women. Maybe he could write an eighth chronical about Lucy and Edmond realizing that Narnia was built by slaves who were never paid their due wages and shed some light on what Aslan would do to set things straight.
More than anything else it would be fun to sit back and enjoy the conversation. I think there would be joy in the awkwardness of language and culture rubbing shoulders. We could all bring a dish and a drink like we did back in college and laugh and tell stories into the evening. Enjoy the meal. Enjoy a moment of humanity.
Share a bit of joy and new perspective to bring back into the daily grind.
Some day, maybe I can travel to these distant regions and get a taste for my friends’ lives first hand. Maybe some day I can actually share a meal with each of them (“Surprised By Joy” will have to suffice for one person). Until then, I’ll enjoy the thought of this dynamic, shared meal and unpack the complexity of life experience in my imagination.
*Personal details altered for privacy
