An aging hater in 2016 reads some fruit’s BS clickbait

Of course David Turner doesn’t like De La Soul

David Turner

Internets,

I’m actually kinda glad David Turner doesn’t like De La Soul, if only because I don’t need people seeing that he likes the same kind of music I like and getting the wrong idea about me, but also because why should he like De La Soul?

It doesn’t make sense to me why someone who hasn’t so much as heard a De La Soul album should be able to get paid to write about music, and in fact I might contact Attorney General Eric Tradd Schneiderman about a potential fraud investigation against MTV News, but it’s hardly surprising to me that some dumb kid, looking like a broke Stephen from the Real World Seattle after he got caught slanging dat boy-pussy down in LA, a few years after the infamous Slap Heard ‘Round the World, wouldn’t like 3 Feet High and Rising. He wouldn’t have liked 3 Feet High and Rising if this were 1989.

Sidebar: Aesthetically, many of the girls who write for MTV News remind me of Irene, victim of the aforementioned Slap, but I’d like to think that Irene–who later started fuxxin with Jello Biafra and claiming that the real reason she left the show was because of the rampant product placement, not lyme disease–wouldn’t lower herself to participate in the shit-show they’ve got going on there, but who knows. Women are complex. Case in point, ostensibly progressive women who support Hillary Clinton.

3 Feet High and Rising is a relic of a time when not everyone fuxxed with rap music. Most black people, including a lot of the same low-information voters who delivered states like Georgia and South Carolina to Hillary Clinton, against their own interest, couldn’t stand rap music. The only time you could hear it on the radio was a one-hour span in between when the evening drive-time segment came to an end and when the quiet storm began, and maybe on a special mix-show that came on in the wee hours of the morning on weekends, not unlike Peter Rosenberg’s Real Late.

And it wasn’t because hip-hop had yet to become a viable commercial force; it was because (a) most of the music back then was quote-unquote real hip-hop, and most people never did like real hip-hop, and (b) old black religious kooks and civil rights leaders thought rap music was causing young black people to kill each other. Never mind all of the people who got killed during the “heron” era, in the ’60s and ’70s, which arguably was the fault of Gladys Knight and the Pi(m)ps. It was this exact same thought process, or lack thereof, that led to the passing of the Clinton family’s draconian crime bill in 1994.

I happen to know, because (as KRS-One would say) I was there, that most black people in the late ’80s were listening to garbage R&B, and most white people were listening to Debbie Gibson, New Kids on the Block, Rick Astley and other musicians that Bill Hicks so presciently spoke out against. Based on a cursory perusal of his Twitter (nullus), I’d say that, if David Turner had been around back then, his favorite artists would have been Erasure, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Pet Shop Boys, Bronski Beat and Freddie Jackson. He claims to enjoy modern rap music, but again, it’s hardly surprising to me that someone with those tastes would fuxwit the likes of Young Thug and Rich Homie Quan.

The real question is why David Turner was given such a platform to share his views on De La Soul. Would MTV have run a similar article, in which a proud black man with a father called BS on Carly Rae Jepsen? Obviously not. The purpose of this article was just for the white feminist crypto racists who run MTV News to shit on the black community by proxy, and Turner got duped into functioning as their vessel because, if his seeming lack of curiosity, not to mention his garbage prose, is any indication, he’s just not very smart.

Of course he doesn’t like De La Soul.

Take it easy on yourself,

Bol

http://www.amazon.com/author/byroncrawford


Originally published at tinyletter.com.