Chris Brown doesn’t need a gun to strike fear into the heart of a woman
Today in common sense
Internets,
I knew the allegations against Chris Brown were some ol’ bullshit, because it didn’t make sense to me why he would need a gun to convince a girl to leave his house when he could have just asked nicely.
This is, after all, the same guy from the Rumble in the Lambo. We’ve seen what he does to women.
The alleged victim, if she was there trying to do something strange for some change, er, “auditioning for a part in his next video,” must have been familiar with his work. Certainly she can’t claim to be too young to remember that fateful night of the ’09 Grammys. I’ve seen her pics: that body’s got a few miles on it.
I know Chris Brown has supposedly turned over a new leaf. A while back, there was an incident where a stalker–a busted dark butt with the same Buhweet hairdo as a lot of the girls on Black People Twitter–broke into his house, spray painted her name all over the walls and on his cars and even slept in his bed, thus exposing his “linens” to crabs and lord knows what else.
Brown himself found her there when he returned from jail or wherever he’d been. (Perhaps he was volunteering with children who struggle with literacy.) When I read that he somehow managed to refrain from putting a shoe on her and instead called the cops, I knew this was a different Chris Brown. The incident with Rihanna had changed him for the better. At least some good came of it.
He probably could have gotten away with beating the stalker to a bloody pulp, depending on who his lawyer was. (Let’s not engage in ethnic stereotypes on this fine holiday weekend.) LL Cool J, who’s on ‘roids, beat the brakes off a homeless guy who broke into his house and 5–0 pretty much just thanked him for doing their job for them.
So maybe Chris Brown, like Prince at the end of Purple Rain, has learned not to backhand a woman anymore. Still, I’d mind my behavior in his house.
The alleged victim claims that one of Brown’s weed carriers got upset with her because he had some jewelry on display and she suggested it was fake. He says she was getting a little bit too close to it, like she might try to steal it.
Later, we’d learn that this hoo-er has a warrant for her arrest in New York for snatching a $1,000 Louis Vuitton purse with a $200 Michael Kors wallet in it, and that she’s not really a beauty queen, as she claims to be.
She did once win an obscure pageant I’d never heard of, possibly something a scammer put together in an attempt to make sweet, passionate love to the contestants, but she was stripped of her title, just like Vanessa Williams back in the day, when someone found noodz of her on the Internets. TMZ or someone spoke to the organizers of another pageant she claims to have won, and they said she didn’t even enter.
Basically, this girl is a liar, is what I’m saying.
Chris Brown is just lucky 5–0 didn’t pop a cap in his ass on sight solely on the basis of him having frightened a white women. I’ve heard some people criticize him for holing up inside his house, posting videos on Instagram that probably didn’t help his cause any, while 5–0 posted up outside in full Ferguson-riots regalia, with helicopters circling overhead and all kinds of crazy shit, but what else could he have done?
It’s not like they wouldn’t have shot him just because the incident was almost certainly being filmed. They already had a report of him pointing a gun at someone, which is more than enough evidence to clear 5–0 of any wrongdoing, at a time when they’re routinely getting away with shooting and killing unarmed black men.
In conclusion, until Chris Brown can remove a thot from his home without a SWAT team being called, I don’t see why Colin Kaepernick should be required to stand for the singing of our national anthem.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol
Originally published at tinyletter.com.
