Katt Williams is on award tour
Going each and every place with some crack in his pocket
Internets,
For the past few years, Katt Williams has been on a new kind of comedy tour.
A typical comedy tour would involve traveling to different cities to get paid to stand on stage and tell jokes, doing random drugs during the day to pass the time and falling into what’s known as “road hole.”
Katt Williams might still be doing some of that, which would explain how he’s able to afford to be in a different city every night of the week, unless he’s out here hopping trains like a depression-era hobo.
But in addition to doing actual comedy, Katt Williams has also been doing his share of unintentional comedy.
Examples of such would include:
- The time he got kicked out of a hotel, probably for smoking crack, and gave an interview to the local TV news–in the middle of the street–in which he announced he was retiring from comedy
- The time he slapped a Target employee, possibly for calling for a price-check for boys’ Superman underwear over the intercom
- The time he led the police on a low-speed chase on an ATV in Yolo County, an actual place that exists
- That time he started hanging out with Suge Knight and they broke someone’s camera, which may or may not end up being Suge’s third strike, regardless of if he gets away with running over that guy’s head
- The time he pulled a Rick James on one of his hoo-ers, holding her hostage for several hours and burning her with cigarettes, for taking a shit in his bathroom (which is understandable)
- The time he tried to kick someone’s ass on stage at a Beanie Sigel show, probably thinking it was a leprechaun, and got stomped out
And those are just the few things I could think of off the top of my head. They must represent only a small percentage of the number of times he’s been arrested. Which makes you wonder how he’s avoided doing serious time. He must be spreading a lot of money around.
The other day, he got beat up by what was reported to be a seventh grader. It was trending on and off all week long, in what turned out to be an especially tragic week for celebrity deaths. In addition to Phife Dawg from A Tribe Called Quest, we lost Toronto’s infamous Crack Mayor, Rob Ford.
Katt Williams may have been able to sense the loss of one of his fellow smokers (crackhead down!), regardless of whether or not he was actually aware of it, which would explain why he’s been acting out.
The Daily Mail was able to track down the kid who beat up Katt Williams, one Luke Wash, who says he’s 17 years old. What the Daily Mail failed to grasp, because clearly they’re not familiar with American black people, is that would hardly preclude him from being in the seventh grade.
Wash was photographed with some fake bling bling on and what may or may not have been a real Polo jacket (Dallas Penn will have to confirm), standing out in front of what looks like the Low Rises from the Wire, looking like he’s got a hot mixtape to promote. If only he did. He could have gotten some real bling bling.
All black youth should have a hot mixtape to promote, just in case some shit like this happens.
The first video that emerged made it seem like Katt Williams randomly punched a child in the face for no apparent reason, and then the child kicked his ass. But as a second video reveals, the child was bullying Katt Williams, and the real tragedy here is that Williams didn’t beat the brakes off of him.
It’s not explained, in the article or the video itself, why the kid is upset with Katt Williams, but it’s not so difficult to put one and two together. There’s only two reasons for Williams to have been in the projects, and he makes too much money to be purchasing low quality drugs in small quantities.
Add to that the fact that there’s a story at Vlad TV with someone calling herself Hazel E, supposedly his erstwhile girlfriend, saying she’s done with Katt Williams, after this latest fight video, and it seems obvious to me that Katt Williams was there visiting the child’s mother. That may have even been his son.
Shit, those could have all been his kids.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol
Originally published at tinyletter.com.
