Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes it’s a big black cock

Now I couldn’t listen to Jay Z if I wanted to

The Blueprint and its two garbage sequels have been pulled from Spotify


How presumptuous it was of Jay Z to pull not just the Blueprint from every streaming service and digital music retailer other than Tidal, but its two awful sequels.

Is there a single person seriously considering switching to Tidal in order to be able to listen to the Blueprint 2: The Gift & the Curse?

Also, did Jay Z pull that album where it’s just the (relatively) listenable stuff from the Blueprint 2 on one disc, or did he forget that it exists? He’s too old now to be suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s disease. This would have to be the real deal. His brain may have already grown a thin candy shell.

I’d suggest that no one wants to listen to the Blueprint 3, but that album was something along the lines of a success. That song with Kanye and Rihanna in which Kanye says no homo was almost a hit, and then “Empire State of Mind” was successful enough to be used in the trailer for the second Sex and the City movie, which is probably where it’s best experienced

(When “Run This Town” came out, back in the late ’00s, people used to come up to me and say that Kanye stole my line.)

When Jay Z pulled Reasonable Doubt from Spotify, a while back, it really was tragic, not because I’ve listened to the album since the (first?) Clinton administration, but because one day I might want to revisit it, and now the only way to do so would be to find my CD (purchased the day it came out back in ’96; as KRS-One would say, where were you?) or sign up for Tidal.

So it’s literally impossible.

I wasn’t even aware that Jay Z could have the Blueprint albums pulled. I thought he was able to pull Reasonable Doubt because he recorded that album before he was with Def Jam, and he bought Dame and Biggs out of their stakes in the album as part of the deal in which their remaining collective stake in Roc-A-Fella Records was sold to Def Jam, in the mid ‘00s.

Elsewhere in Tidal news this week, it was announced that people who signed up for a free trial in the past month would have their one-month trial period extended for another month, free of charge.

The way it worked out, if you signed up for a free trial of Tidal back when the Life of Pablo dropped, your shit would have come to an end right when it was announced that Kanye went back and fixed a few songs on the album, so you would have spent your entire trial period listening to a version of the album that wasn’t even finished.

It’s the streaming music equivalent of when the Hispanic guy who keeps the trays filled at a Chinese buffet emerges from the kitchen with a hotel pan full of crab legs the moment your credit card is approved, almost as if they’ve got a bat-signal in the back to let them know when black people are in the building. #BlackLivesMatter

Kanye himself may have insisted on that extra month, knowing good and well that was the only way many people would be able to (legally) hear the completed version of the Life of Pablo. If they only signed up for the free trial to hear the album, they weren’t about to hand over their credit card information just because Kanye made a few tweaks.

Maybe the same narcissism will one day lead Kanye to talk Jay Z into adding a free, ad-supported version of Tidal, like Spotify has. At that point, I might actually download the Tidal app, but not to listen to dated corporate rap–I’d use it to listen to Prince.

Take it easy on yourself,


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