Strategically, this is the best time to attack Kanye
J. Cole’s “False Prophets” was right on time
Internets,
J. Cole keeps a low profile, when he’s not boring everyone to tears with his music.
This year, he’s only appeared at one music festival and in a very small handful of guest appearances on other rappers’ songs, according to an article yesterday on Complex. (Obviously, I wouldn’t have known otherwise.)
People didn’t even know he was married until it was accidentally announced during an interview with the guy who directed Creed. Though it seemed like he may have done this on purpose, as a publicity stunt, because Cole, the guy who directed Creed and Michael B. Jordan all seem kinda sus–or “carefree,” as it’s now known in certain corners of the Internets.
Cole could have recorded this song “False Prophets” six months ago, for all we know. It wouldn’t make sense for him to have recorded it since Kanye was shipped off to the looney bin, because no one does their best work in the week after Thanksgiving. If you’re unfortunate enough to have a job you have to show up to, you just kinda phone it in and hope no one notices. If you’ve got a computer with access to the Internets, it’s a good time to spend money you don’t really have on shit you don’t really need, none of which costs any less than it does the rest of the year (except TVs, which are in extremely short supply).
In a video for the song, Cole rides a lime-green bus(??) in shorts and a pair of matching lime-green tennis shoes that look like something a mother who’s struggling to make ends me might pick up for her child at a Ross for Less, leading to a domestic incident. It’s too cold outside right now to be wearing shorts.
Regardless of when this song was recorded, J. Cole made the right decision by dissing Kanye a mere matter of days after he was sprung from the cuckoo’s nest, for the following reasons:
1) Kanye is in a weakened state right now.
His music sounds increasingly retarded. His clothing line looks like Derelicte from Zoolander. A lot of people are upset about him canceling this tour. There probably hasn’t been a better time to dis Kanye. Who would disagree with anything negative you have to say about him right now?
2) Kanye might not be able to respond.
I read on TMZ that Kanye was so paranoid that he wouldn’t even let doctors touch him. Cole doesn’t mention Kanye by name in the song, so if Kanye assumes the song is about him, the doctors might think he’s still paranoid and have him readmitted.
3) Cole brings up some good points.
Granted, Cole himself is not history’s best argument for people writing their own rhymes, but it’s true what he says: Kanye just takes other people’s work and puts his name on it. And if you’re saying something that’s true, timing is irrelevant.
4) Kanye might actually benefit from this.
The last thing Kanye needs right now is for people to tell him it’s ok to be mentally ill. That kind of virtue-signaling has no place in Donald Trump’s America. Kanye won’t get any better until he’s been made to realize that his behavior is unacceptable.
5) Cole has an album to promote.
J. Cole couldn’t have planned this any better if he’d coordinated it with the Illuminati. His album 4 Your Eyez Only drops a week from today, and he’s bound to be the talk of the Internets, regardless of whether or not people agree with what he did, in the days leading up to its release.
“All publicity is good publicity.”–Kim Kardashian
Because J. Cole is signed to Jay Z’s Roc Nation, there’s no way he could have released “False Prophets” without Jay Z signing off on it. Jay would never allow J. Cole to do anything he found to be ethically indefensible, and perhaps more importantly, he would never allow Cole to do anything that might have a negative impact on his bottom line.
It may have even been Jay Z’s idea. I read in the New York Post or somewhere, after Kanye’s little incident, that Jay Z hates Kanye and has for years. This seems like it must be true. Such rumors have existed since at least as far back as when Jay was working on the Blueprint 3, as discussed in Kanye West Superstar.
Kanye dissed Beyoncé at that very last show before he was sent off to be observed. If I were Jay Z, I would somehow attack Kanye even if I didn’t necessarily disagree with what he said, for her benefit. That way, she wouldn’t be able to use it against me when I’m trying to have sex.
Take it easy on yourself,
Bol
Originally published at tinyletter.com.
