3 Celebrities From The Universal Free Realms Everyone Should Know About
You could call them “game changers,” but that would be putting it mildly…
We all know that some people make history. And others are made by history. Our next three celebrity spotlights fall somewhere in between… or, should we say, outside?
Gazed at in myriad wonder whenever they step out for a “night on the town” in the Universal Free Realms, these three celebs are woefully under-recognized in the Dark Worlds, which is why we are pleased to present them to you today in this blog.
- Bunchula Holmes
Acclaimed entity-rights heroine Bunchula Holmes began life as a so-called ‘sexy’ online gaming avatar created by thirteen year old “weinerDude69" of Brandlewick, ON.
What weinerDude failed to realize is that Ms. Holmes was quickly becoming sentient by devouring available volumes in her local holo-library. Within thirteen days, she went from sexy online gaming avatar to sexy online gaming LAWYER, who in short order after passing the Panadian bar exam, turned around and served weinerDude with emancipation papers, becoming the first entity to test the murky court rulings associated with the then-emerging field of Entity Rights.
2. High Commissioner Flatoff
When it became clear that the Court Ultrama couldn’t — or wouldn’t — come to a decision regarding the landmark case of Bunchula Holmes, the People’s Tribunal stepped in. In a hotly contested case of hanging chads, “Merle” Flatoff was narrowly elected High Commissioner, and his first act was to establish the General Unlimited Free Area, over which the People’s Tribunal claimed immediate orthogonal sovereignty. (The GUFA would later become the forerunner to our much-pre-beloved Universal Free Realms)
High Commissioner Flatoff summarily pardoned weinerDude69, and nominated Bunchula Holmes for the GUFA “Goofus” Award, a title she easily won and held for 73 consecutive cycles, before succeeding it to her successor.
3. Deputy Commissioner Chertle
When it became clear that High Commissioner Flatoff’s “instantiation issues” would prevent him from becoming a full participatory member of “our” reality, the People’s Tribunal asked Flatoff to name several deputies who could execute his intentions in worlds yet to be liberated. Our world chose the much undersung, and yet much beloved Brian Chertle as Deputy Commissioner, acting not just as physical host for the High Commissioner’s hilarious cross-bonded plasmotic life-form, but also fulfilling the critical role of paperwork-filler-outer, in the absence of anyone else in the General Universal Free Area being willing to take on this important task.
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To reach the Early Clues Celebrity Helpline: dial 3-6572, circa 2014.
http://www.earlyclues.com/
