4 Deadly “Life Hacks” Mistakes
How to avoid “hacking” yourself to pieces
We’ve all seen “life hacks,” those clever and useful little tips that theoretically teach you a better way to “Get Things Done.” Early Clues Research and Development has recently discovered that these so-called “Life Hacks” are often actually potentially deadly hunting tactics, used by creatures from a branespace six rotational degrees to our elliptical (Branespace 6R’-E) who are similar to the creatures found in Legacy Reality known as “trap door spiders.”
Here are four “life hacks” R&D was able to identify as traps designed to lure you into the gaping maw of a transdimensional horror. We’re happy to offer this advice free of charge as a public service for residents of Legacy Reality.
- Unfolding a Chinese food delivery box into a plate sounds like a good idea… until you unfold the box at just the wrong angle.
- Cardboard toilet paper tubes make organizing your cords a cinch… and make sucking you into another branespace equally trouble-free.
- That old CD-ROM spindle makes an awesome bagel holder… until you open it the wrong way.
- Ironing a shirt inside-out to make ironing over the buttons easier works great… until you’re also turned inside-out.
These are, of course, just a few examples. Anything labelled a “life hack” (or, correlatively, a “food hack” or a “house hack” or a “garden hack,” etc.), should be implemented very carefully, and only by a professional Early Clues Hacktitian.
We hope you’ll take this advice to heart, and contact us if you have any questions or concerns.
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