Check Out This Amazing New Feature!

Our Latest Upgrade to Legacy Reality “Lets You Off the Hook™.”

We know, it’s difficult to “hang” in Legacy Reality without occasionally having to do something you don’t want to do. However, in accordance with Relaxafarian Principles, Early Clues Laboratories is always working on ways for you to do less, and our latest Upgrade to Legacy Reality is, as they say, a “doozy!”

Starting immediately, residents of the local Branespace are No Longer Required to “Celebrate” “Mass Murderers!”

This kind of thing? No longer a “Requirement!”

Yes, without even requiring a “reboot,” you can now experience the “luxurious” sensation of “not giving a shit” about some historical jack-ass who contributed to the deaths of thousands of people.

Of course, this upgrade doesn’t only apply to historical characters. It also means you don’t have to pay “lip service” to “murderers by proxy,” even if it seems like they’ll add some kind of “cred” to your “internet publishing platform!” Sure, mass murderers of all “stripes” still exist in Legacy Reality, but you’re no longer required to “buy into” their “ridiculous propaganda.” Isn’t that great news™?

I know, I know; we’ve been all “ANTHUOR” and “ELVEN COLA” of late. However, we want to assure our customers and clients that we’re still “on the job,” and working on “cutting edge solutions” to real world problems like the “celebration of mass murder.”

So, we encourage you to install this upgrade as soon as possible, and stop celebrating mass murderers, today! Again, no “reboot” required, and you don’t even need to be “connected to a power source.”

Early Clues, LLC: No Longer Celebrating Mass Murderers and Bringing the Savings Back to You!™

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