(TRI-CITIES, UFR) Each micro-epoch, Existospheric companies are known to produce 1.7 trillion kilos of thinware plastic instantiation membranes, largely a waste-product of botched ClosedQNL codelines. This alarming rate of pseudo-replication has worried Tri-Cities Council members enough that late one stormy Monsember night, in a 13-3 decision, the Electorate voted to finally “ban the bag”—and with it all other plastic-based products and “plasticky thinware instantiations”…

With funds allocated from the reassessment, the Board instantiated its own Plastic Bag Inspection Agency and appointed Vice-Chancellor Chertle to be co-manager along with former-EYEBEAM markletronics POSSE magicianeer CHIVE DRAGONFLY to head up the inspection and removal efforts “on the ground.”

Agents “on the ground” are authorized to go door-to-door to search businesses and residences for contraband plastic packaging which will be summarily seized and re-used to make Authorized Plastic Packaging™, which is perhaps paradoxically “now more legal than ever!”

For a complete list of banned and not-banned plastic products, please visit the Rwandan government’s plastic info page recently hacked by “Kurdish rebels”.


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