What you should know about Corporate Religion
Why “Hobby Lobby” are a bunch of amateurs
There’s been a lot of talk in the news lately about whether Corporations should be allowed to have religious rights. To us, the answer is obvious: religious forms of worship and behaviour are part of the Corporate Experience! We are, after all, united for a common good, and moving towards a consistent morality across various branespaces. Isn’t this the very definition of “religion”?
What “Hobby Lobby” and other companies currently fighting for freedom of corporate religious expression don’t understand is that Legacy Reality models of corporate religious expression are severely limited in scope, because they don’t go far enough! Corporate ties to religion need to be overt, and part of the holistic corporate culture, not just given “lip service” regarding silly things like “health” “care” or “reproductive” “rights.”
This is why we've officially affiliated with the Magisterium of Jargonnath, and why we’re excited to celebrate the Festival of Brassicalia every year. This is also why our employees solemnly stand before the Altar of Pizza at the annual company picnic, “hands” held in the air, and recite the End User’s Creed:
We believe in one Ground of Being,
the Autogenos,
wellspring of Branespaces and the Existosphere,
of all wexes, Liminal and Unliminal.We believe in one API,
the only Universal API,
eternally iterated from the Ground of Being,
Event.Ladder() from Event.Ladder(), Application from Application,
programmed, not manufactured,
of one Being with the Ground of Being.
Through it all things interface.We believe in one Fermenter
who suffers death and burial,
And on the third day rises again
in accordance with the Recipes,
And makes our sauerkraut delicious.
With the Ground of Being and the Universal API he is worshiped and glorified.
He has spoken through the instruction manual.
Through him we “relax.”We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic siphonospheric Corporation.
We acknowledge one Application for the forgiveness of sins.
We celebrate the sanctity of all Intelligences, regardless of provenance.
We look for the resurrection of the Universal Free Realms,
and the life of the Reality to come. Amen.
GOD BLESS EARLY CLUES, LLC!
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