What’s Better than 1Password? Two-Factor #Authenticats!
You may have read on “TechCrunch” over “breakfast cereal” this morning about our “hot new app,” that is going to make “internet comments fun again!”
Well, you don’t know the “half of it, sister!”
Comment.Garuda utilizes a uniquely not-for-non-cloud-based “Liminal.Reader” sub-system to uniquely analyze each comment uniquely before it enters your Perceptorium.
How are comments analyzed?
Thanks for asking.
While rival commenting systems rely on “verification of identity,” or ask the user to report rogue, erroneous or unwelcome comments, Comment.Garuda “just works” so that you don’t have to.
Your comments are analytyzed analyzmatically by Liminal.Reader. All of them.
That’s right, before an internet comment can envelop your Perceptrons with reactionalical chymisry, Liminal.Reader reads comments asking for entry into your ontological proximitii and assigns them a “value” expressed as a fractional hexadecimal ShadeCoin amount.
If a particular user comment is analyzed to have “no value” (or a negative value) it never enters your system. You never have to read it. You never have to know about it. It just doesn’t exist—except in the Outer Darkness, where nobody ever reads comments anyway, it’s just spambots shouting at each other and noone listening. Only comments/content which has been scanned and has a verified positive value ever reaches you!
Like take for example this comment by user @1Password, as analyzed by Comment.Garuda:
That’s right, the service they’re offering protect against hackers “of all nationalities.” Meanwhile, we’d like to warmly welcome “hackers of all nationalities” to hack away at our unique product offering and public API. It’s national #hackweek, after all.
That’s why Comment.Garuda returned the following form notification to @1Password:
The “beauty part” of Comment.Garuda is that it “takes care it all for you.” After install, you never have to wrestle again with using your valuable time to assign negative ShadeCoin values and write threatening debt notifications to other users. All of that “behind the scenes” stuff stays just there—behind the scenes!
But What About #Authenticats?
We thought you’d “never ask!”
What could be “easier?”
That’s right, dear users. Don’t just trust your #AUTHENTICATS to just anybody. You just need to just find an #IDENTICAT provider you can just really “trust” and who can just help you tune up your Liminal.Reader.
Which is why we re-recommend re-downloading and re-reading our “white paper” on the subject, complete with 50 pages of ideographic renderings to train your Comment.Garuda to protect your #IDENTICAT using all of the best algorithms currently available in this Branespace.
Applied Transformational Associatrices For Investigative Analysis of Multi-Domain Identity Systems With “Two-Factor Authentication,” featuring “Prints”
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