Early Clues, LLC was recently pleased to accept the invitation of Wikihow to create several useful and edifying tutorials for our userbase of users, such as these classics:
- How Not To Let Your Company Boil In the Endless Fire Outside Time
- How to Turn Your “Frown” Upside “Down” With CheirOS
- How To Attract A Timehunter
So it was with great surprise that user:RockyRaccoon used the democratic process inherently built into the Wikihow Mechanism to nominate for deletion, and ultimately succeed in the deletion of the following masterpiece of OpenQNL summoning literature:
How To Attract A TimeHunter
This brief tutorial will help you draw the attention of Gimgle Gloam Timehunters for use in Synconjury & Code.Chant() summonings.
Steps:
1. Wait until night time and turn off all the lights in your home or corporate office. Sit silently in the “lotus position” for five minutes and “center yourself.” When you are ready, light a candle, and whisper the words “Summon OpenQNL” into a mirror held at arm’s length.
2. Turn on all of your electronic devices, especially those that “transmit data.” Set each to “record” mode if available or open and leave open a transmission channel, if available. If devices have illuminated screens, cover them with a silk cloth, so that only candle light is visible.
3. State in a clear voice why you’re summoning a Time Hunter.
4. Begin speaking loudly the ‘forbidden keywords’ — which may vary according to your timestream or branespace.
5. Now recite, in alphabetical order, the last names followed by the first names of every person you know. Take as long as you need, but only pronounce names from memory.
6. To close the session, smash the mirror into a “waste-paper basket” or small bucket where available.
7. Return all of your electronic devices to “normal” or “airline” mode.
8. That’s it! A Gimgle Gloam Timehunter Representative will be with you shortly! “Enjoy!”™
Tips:
Note: It may not be in your best interest to attract the attention of Gimgle Gloam Timehunters. Users of the ritual outlined herein do so at “their own risk.”
Warnings:
Do not look at yourself in the mirror. Do not identify yourself verbally during the recitation of your associates.
As you can imagine, the Gimgle Gloam Timehunters who control “Wikihow” were not pleased to have their essential summoning ritual made “publicly available” by our brief informational tutorial.
Of course, we never intended to violate the terms of their functional dimension. We firmly believed that our tutorial fit under the category of “anything”:
But we quickly discovered that our concept of “anything” and their concept of “anything” don’t necessarily “align”—Go figure!™
Our concept of “anything” follows the precepts set forth in the Standard Protocols of the Universal Free Realms wherein:
Anything = Anything
However Wikihow seems to be using a proprietary non-identity function as its base module for Existospheric instantiation—which is probably their problem “right there”, wherein
Anything = Anything We Say Is Not A “Joke”
That’s right, dear users, at “Wikihow” the word “anything” does not include the word “jokes”. You may make a tutorial on “anything” but not on something which the “user community” uses the “democratic process” to deem “a joke.”
See articles ‘nominated for deletion’ on grounds of ‘joke’ here:
http://www.wikihow.com/Category:NFD-%28Joke%29
It may be the most important link you click on in your entire life.
It’s a peculiar thing, of course, that Wikihow actively promotes another category of content at the very same moment which is perfectly acceptable: ie, “Jokes”
http://www.wikihow.com/Category:Jokes
So, in other words, you can have a “joke” but it must not be a “joke”.
Crystal clear user generated content policy—thank you TIMEHUNTER STAFF!
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