Tongan Generosity
A cultural norm that will never cease to amaze
This week, the Side School held their first PTA meeting of the year. All the teachers attended, and I especially wanted to be there to express my gratitude to the parents. I owe the PTA a great deal of thanks, for they pay my house’s rent and utilities, each and every month. When a site applies for a Peace Corps Volunteer, their one responsibility (other than providing a productive and sustainable project) is to provide a house which meets all Peace Corps’ safety and security standards. My api (house) exceeds many of those standards-rats and molokaus excluded-and I really am lucky that the parents of my school are so very generous.
Generosity: the word of the week. Here’s why:
The real purpose of the PTA meeting this week was to graciously ask the parents if they would be willing to pay for the new Class 3 teacher’s salary (seeing as the Ministry is not able to at present). Now, keep in mind, the entire meeting was held in Tongan. I did catch a few words I knew, but for the most part, I had nooo idea what was going on. My principal stood up and explained the situation, tears were involved (a typical occurence during Tongan speeches, because it shows the speaker really cares about what they are speaking about), some debate appeared to follow. And then, a mother stood from the front, wearing an Oakland A’s hat funny enough, and whatever she said brought the rest of the parents to applause. I later asked a fellow teacher why everyone had clapped for her, and apparently she had just offered to pay the new teacher’s salary in full, until the Ministry was able! Even more, she doesn’t even have a student in that class! I was so blown away by her thoughtful gesture, I felt it was an important experience to share.
Which brings me to the generosity of the Tongan people as a whole. I remember before coming to Tonga, I heard a story of a small village farmer who was gifted a lot of pigs from an aid organization. His pigs were meant to multiply and help feed his village for many years to come. What the aid org did not account for, however, was a funeral. More importantly, they had not accounted for the funeral of the man’s fahu, the eldest aunt on the father’s side, who is considered the most important member of each family. The man had family members come into town for the funeral from all over the country, as well as from overseas, so naturally, he killed every single pig he had to feed the family.
^^Now, I remember telling my dad this story last summer. We were both in utter disbelief that a single event could deplete the food meant to sustain a village for YEARS. And that they would do it willingly, without hesitation, sounded nuts! But now, I am here and I have a better understanding of how life in Tonga works: family is everything, and the whole island might as well be related, therefore, EVERYONE is family. To give your last helping of noodles, last bite of chicken wing, last cow, to anyone who enters your frontdoor, whatever the reason, is not only generous, but it is expected of you. This explains why I always felt overfed (especially during homestay), because even if the Tongans have nothing else to offer, they will have food, and a loving home, to share with you.
Sharing: another important word.
I keep thinking back to kindergarten, when they taught us the importance of sharing with others. The Tongans don’t need to teach their children this valuable lesson though, because they already understand it. They understand it in a way far beyond what we are used to, because what is theirs is yours, and you don’t even need to ask, because of course they will share with you. Something to learn from them, I think. Don’t you?
Now, some pics to brighten your day:
This is Viliami. He is in Class 1.
Every morning, I say “Good morning Viliami,” and he responds with, “Good morning, God bless you!”-the only English he was taught before coming to school I suspect. The teachers think he is going to grow up to be a great pastor. I just think he is too fricken cute for words!
Class 1 posing for the camera-boys versus girls.
This is Pahi, also in Class 1. She will whisper things to me in Tongan. I am not really sure what she is saying but she makes me smile.
If you have nothing else, you can always share a smile ☺
Have a good weekend!
