Why Is My Autistic Son Always Tired?
As a parent of an autistic child, I have always wondered why my son is so tired. He cannot tell me WHY he is tired, but I continually hear him say, “I am tired.”
With my son’s congenital heart defect, we were told by his cardiologist, “He will always have fatigue.” If I remember correctly, his pulmonary valve was like a swinging door allowing blood to return to the heart instead of being oxygenated. So he had a Melody valve replacement, which we thought would decrease his fatigue. But this has not happened.
He cannot keep up with other 10-year-olds in his gym class. He gets winded easier, and we were told he would have exercise intolerance due to his body building up lactic acid very quickly compared to a healthy 10-year-old.
At first, I thought his heart condition caused the fatigue, but now I think it may be due to his autistic brain processing ability. But he cannot tell me this. Thank you to Catherine Londero’s story “Processing Time Helps Neurodivergents Cope with Change,” which makes me wonder if my son’s brain is in constant overdrive with “processing time,” which drives his fatigue.
I get flustered when trying to understand my son’s brain. I asked him, “Can you explain how your brain works?” He responded, “My brain is at full power.” But I don’t understand this because he cannot tell me what this means exactly. So when I asked him, “Why do you feel tired?” He will say, “I don’t know.”
Communication with my son has been challenging. This is why the meltdowns occur; he cannot communicate the problem at THAT MOMENT and will break down. We have worked with him since age 5, where meltdowns were 90 minutes or the evening when he shot because something happened at school that he could not get past.
Now we are in a place where his meltdowns could last less than 10 minutes. However, I received notification from his teacher that he had a breakdown at school which lasted 40 minutes last week. He is unpredictable. What frustrates me the most is that I want to help my son. But I do not know how because he cannot convey what he thinks or feels that makes sense to me.
So will I ever know what drives my son’s fatigue since he cannot communicate the information I need? For me, it is like a puzzle. I ask questions (which my son hates) and try to come to some hypothesis. I read and try to connect with others and hear their stories, wondering if maybe what is happening with them is happening with my son, and then I came across Catherine’s article.
I have come to accept that my son may NEVER be able to communicate in a way that I understand him. And so the journey continues.
To read Catherine’s story, I have copied and pasted it here.
