Brainwashing

To you, I am brainwashed.
So you begin your own deprogramming ritual.
Tears.
National pride.
Family values.

Enter friend # 1
She has a brother that abandoned family at the moment of need.

Now meet family member # 1
She tells me as you see it.

Here’s family member # 2
He tells me that he felt as I do, only to realize he was wrong, and tries to convince me I am too.

Say hello to family member # 3
He tells me that life is meant to be enjoyed.

A WhatsApp from family member # 4
Telling me that I need to get my professional life in order.
(What more needs to be in order? I’ve been a corporate banker, and am currently an executive at a startup.)

On the telephone with family member # 5
She glorifies my mother, calls under a pretext, but is only there to further the prison inquiry.

Ah! The concerned family member # 6
He tells me not to cry when inadvertently a tear or two slip away and get noticed.
(Damn these tears — you were meant to remain known just to me.)

Let me introduce you to family member # 7
He simply tells me I am mentally challenged.
(Because being mentally challenged is that simple and as willful.)

The ringing comment of family member # 8
She tells me I am selfish.
(Ayn Rand got it wrong! Selfishness will never be deemed a virtue in this world that we inhabit.)

Blocking out family member # 9
He keeps calling to speak to me, but I can’t find it in my heart to take his calls
(Because I am that tired.)

Comparisons to the neighbor,
To the cousin,
To the friend’s daughter,
To anybody who didn’t conform and didn’t live up to expectations.

Therapists say that it isn’t about my belief, but the breakdown in communication.
But you can’t see that.

All you can see is me.
But do you see me?

This brainwashing you’re trying,
It isn’t working.

Invalidating my experiences doesn’t invalidate them in my heart.

I am ME!

Your giant well-knit endeavor is only hurting you and hurting me.

Did you honestly expect something different?