You’re Not Too Busy To Be A Dad

The conflicts of being a dad!

Steven Sefton
Mission.org
5 min readApr 7, 2016

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Photo @ Danielle MacInnes

Being a Dad is hard and easy at the same time.

Because you love your child deeply, showing them love, affection, and kindness comes easy.

Worrying about their future in a world that has many distractions and the world where we rely less and less on our governments, scares me and liberates me at the same time.

But first, have you ever been in any of these situations?

– ‘I’m busy, five minutes.’

And five minutes doesn’t happen.

The worst part of it is you spent the past 20 minutes paying attention to other people’s agendas on Facebook, Twitter or any other inconsequential time-zapping distraction.

And all your child wanted to show you was what she had written or drew or built so they could get gratification and encouragement from the one person they want recognition from most.

We’ve just wasted that moment liking someone else’s baby picture. {SAD FACE}

– Start a business because it will “benefit your family.”

Notice the inverted commas there?

Most of us start a business because we have an inner desire to not work for the man, be your own boss and make your family proud.

You go from a 9–5 to a 24/7 overnight. Never seeing your family and here comes the phrases your child remembers the most…

‘I need to work darling.’

‘I’m too busy, I need to go to a meeting.’

‘I can’t read to you tonight, I’m working.’

You say these phrases many times, your child says to you, ‘You’re always working.’

That hurts! But it’s our own fault.

When they say this to you, it’s time to do something about it.

You would be better off working for someone 9–5, than working for yourself 24/7.

Tip: If you have a small family, only start a business that doesn’t affect the time you spend with your family.

Here’s another tip: Listen to your significant other. Yep, my wife, Kady, said this could happen and she was right. Again!

I can honestly say the past six months have been my best in business. My business has started working for my family’s life and not against it.

Some nights I do work late, but most nights I spend quality time with my little one, Lyla.

My Dad Commitment

It’s 2016 and our kids need more of our attention.

In a society where being good at everything isn’t enough.

The information and tools our kids have access to are going to create a huge number of well-advanced kids. So big a number that there may not be enough jobs for them as computers take over most jobs.

Better-educated kids and fewer jobs. That’s a scary thought!

It’s actually happening right now.

Here in the UK, you were led to believe if you worked for the bank or the local council, you had a job for life. Not anymore.

Computers are taking over. Governments are in so much debt that every child born today starts off in £17,000 worth of debt.

It’s our job now more than ever before to direct our kids in their most creative ways. Our school system can’t zone in on a child’s most inner creative passions. They have a curriculum to teach.

It’s not their fault, school’s simply don’t have enough resources to cope.

When my six-year-old daughter, Lyla, comes home from school saying she’s won a Star Writer Award, I need to encourage that and think of creative ways to help pursue her passions.

I always ask myself this question and you can too.

Would I rather my child be okay across a whole spectrum of subjects or really great at just a few?

Schools teach subjects. It’s our job to teach them greatness.

As a disclaimer, I love Lyla’s school. Lyla loves it, too! What I am saying is they can only do so much in the time given and the resources they have.

Teaching My Daughter How A Man Should Act

I don’t want to teach my daughter that a man is never home with his family.

I want her to grow up knowing and believing that a husband and a father’s role is at home. I want her to understand that her parents work hard but are always there for her.

And when the time comes that she decides to get married, she’ll have a great understanding of how a husband should behave.

The Year I Define Myself As A Dad

This year I created myself a set of rules that will define me in 2016.

One of those rules was to never work past 6 pm and spend these last few hours before bedtime with Lyla encouraging her to stay away from watching Netflix so we can either read, play games, learn to use a computer, code and write.

I’m working hard to achieve this and whilst it isn’t perfect just yet, it’s tremendously better.

A few weeks past, we crafted a cat teddy. Together, we’ve finished reading The Twits, BFG, and tonight we’ll start a new book.

Baby News

My wife is expecting baby number two in September. We couldn’t be any happier. Lyla is going to be a big sister. She is super excited.

When Lyla was little, I use to make up stories about a Polar Bear (my favourite animal) called Michael.

We decided the other day we will write out the stories together, draw pictures to go with them and create a book that myself, my wife or Lyla can read to the new little one in our lives.

None of this could have happened if all I kept saying was, “I’m too busy!”

If you enjoyed this post, you can find more from me over at ThinkZap.co.uk.

Originally published at forbloggersbybloggers.com.

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