“Yeah, I’ve been busy…”

AKA 10 ways to NOT be boring

People love saying that they’re busy.

It’s one of the most mindless, knee-jerk responses you could give. It happens so quickly that we’re not even aware we’ve said it. If it’s so meaningless, why do we keep saying it?

Here are a few reasons:

• brainless: we just aren’t thinking about what we’re saying. Or we don’t care.
• don’t want to engage: if we bump into someone in the street, we engage. Sometimes that person is just an acquaintance. Busy is a “get out of jail free” card.
• don’t want to brag: sometimes we are doing cool things, but we don’t want to rock the boat. Saying we’re busy is a handy umbrella term.

Whatever your reason, there is only one result:

You become boring.

No one wants to be boring. We all want to excel at our fields. It’s human nature.

We also want to have meaningful relationships. This takes effort — people won’t always reach out to you. You have to make the effort.

This involves saying things that might turn some people off. That’s OK. Those aren’t the sort of people you want to be friends with anyway.

You want to be surrounded by people who are also going long on their goals.

These people will force you to become a better person. They may be able to help speed up your progress too.

So this is your challenge:

STOP saying, “yeah, I’ve been busy…”

Instead, challenge yourself to find a word you can use instead. Find a word that can create a response that starts a conversation.

Here are 10 phrases you can use:

• Excited: it’s good to be excited about something. For some reason, as adults, we don’t get excited as much. Excitement is positive energy. If the other person your speaking to responds to that, they like being positive too.
• Productive: this word is the cool uncle of busy. Productive implies that you’re getting shit done, not just being busy for the sake of being busy. People don’t always expect someone to say they’ve been productive. If they ask you how you’ve been productive, it’s a good sign they’re switched on.
• Growing: if you hear, “I am growing,” how would you respond? I would genuinely be curious. “How are you growing?” would be my response. Challenge the other person by asking them, “how have you been growing?”
• Disciplined: another word we don’t hear. Someone who’s disciplined is generally a good person to be around.

HINT: you actually need to have been disciplined to use this response. Any good habits you’ve stuck to?

• Creating: I like this word. People who create are great. Whether it’s music, paintings, writing, choreography or something else, they’re cool to be around. If you find another creator, watch the happy sparks fly!
• Learning: we should always be learning, everyday. People who are learning are growing. What are you learning? A new language? How to communicate better? The other person might be learning the same thing!
• Reading:

“I’ve been reading.”

“Oh really? What book?”

“ ‘Meditations’, by Marcus Aurelius.”

“Great read. That’s what got me into Stoicism.”

+1 friendship.

• On a break: this is at the other end of the spectrum. The opposite of busy. The response you would expect is, “on a break from what?”. “Are you OK?” is even better. See who cares. A great way to turn a bump in public into a proper catch up later.
• Dreaming: everyone dreams. But no one talks about their dreams. Not any more, when you become an adult. “I’ve been dreaming…” you say. “About what?”, your companion responds. Could they be the one who turns your dreams into reality?
• Reinventing: humans don’t like change, yet we want to change. If we say we’re reinventing ourselves, it’s one of the quickest ways to find out who’s on your side and who’s not. Get closer to the people who support you or are also trying to change themselves.

It’s easy to say you’re busy. Change that one word and see what happens.

It could start bringing the right people into your life.