I’ve survived a genocide. I’m not gonna ever give up on life, and so are you.
Those were her words, word by word, tear by tear. Growing up with her was not fun. She was always hardworking, and she was always stressed. I didn’t get it— why was she so stressed? Everything, small or big, would tick her off. I didn’t get it,but I wanted to get it. I wanted her to be happy, not for a few hours or a few days. But for the rest of her life. And I knew she wanted it, too.
The Khmer Rouge took away her youth, just like that— for 3 years 8 months and 20 days. After surviving the regime, as an eldest daughter of a working-class family, it was her unwritten responsibility to help her parents. She took it with her will and with her heart unselfishly. She put her life aside and told it to wait. She gave up on education and fun to go to work in order to support her family. I knew this woman— how intelligent, committed, and hardworking she could be. She did it well at work— in fact; very, very well. She designed her life and made her own fortunes.
… And so it was time for her to think about her own life. She felt in love and got married. She gave birth to three beautiful children.They loved her so very much. But they got so sick, year in and year out. She had to sell her fortunes, piece by piece, to save her children’s lives. And then they needed fun, food, clothes, and education. Those needs got her priority and dedication. And so, she put her life aside and told it to wait.
Years passed. Her children had grown up, her beauty faded, and she got wrinkled. It was time for her to move up her waiting list to embrace her life. But it was too late. She just couldn’t. She had lived her life for others for too long that she didn’t know how to live for herself. She had lived too long in a stressful and unhappy life that she didn’t how to be happy. I could hear her screaming silently with frustration because she really wanted to be happy. But each time a piece of happiness came into her life, she had to kill it because she was not comfortable with it.
… Mom, be selfish for once. You can do it. We love you dearly and we want you to be selfishly happy.
