Life, Love and Being a Word Nerd

For better or worse, I am an only child. When I was very young, I craved the presence of a sibling but as I grew older and oh so wise, I realized there was a beauty to being alone. I was, and still am, an avid reader, a real bookworm, something best enjoyed in solitude. I used to read daily starting at a very young age which helped shape not only my imagination and my vocabulary, but also my enjoyment of solitary moments. I’d curl up on the couch and dive into a book, losing track of time and anything else outside those pages. When I was diagnosed with kidney disease, I was even more so drawn to the books that took me away from reality into their tales of wizards, dragons, unicorns and magic. Oh, did I not mention? I’m a total nerd, fiction but especially fantasy was my genre of choice as a wee one. I remember once, when I was roughly grade school age, and reading a trilogy about dragons (of course), the dragon in the story died rather suddenly in a self-sacrifice to save her human friend and I cried. I mean, I bawled, for hours, at the loss of this dragon in my book. Don’t judge me, it was sad! Point being, when I say I got into my books, I mean I really got into them.

I feel that much of my personality was developed because of reading so many fantasy novels; I have always thought that there really might be magic in the world and I believed heroes exist. This made me a dreamer but it also made me introspective and often disappointed by the lackluster and harsh truths of reality. Kids were mean, when I would use larger words learned by my reading, I would get teased mercilessly. As an adult, I of course know now that is because I made them feel unintelligent or less than and teasing was their defense mechanism, but when you’re 11 years old and someone says “that’s dumb” for using words like ‘ardor’ and ‘bungle’ you believe them. Okay, maybe we can give them ‘bungle’ because that’s a funny word, but I thought ‘ardor’ was your run of the mill word until I used it in 6th grade and got the stare down from my peers. So I became guarded, only utilizing my vocabulary among trusted friends, my parents, or when being facetious. The one place I always let it all out was in writing: journals, story writing, English papers, poems and my Livejournal. These places were my safe havens to let my word nerd flag fly. I shake my head and chuckle as I type these words, but starting for the English portion of the SAT was actually fun for me. I looked up a list of commonly used SAT words, printed it out, and hung it in my room so I could practice and learn more new words every day. The word ‘mellifluous’ is one of my on deck words (as in I look for opportunities to use it) to this day thanks to that SAT vocab prep list. It means “flowing with sweetness and honey”, if you were curious. Unfortunately, as we all know, when you don’t practice skills you lose them and language is no exception — so to find my point somewhere in all of this, what I mean to say is I am glad to not only finally be proud of my big ol’ vocab, but also to be back out here using it every week.

Now… what were we talking about? Oh yes, reading. So! Books books books, where to begin. Let’s cover some favorites, in case you’ve stumbled upon this post looking for your next good read:

• The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah, a real tear jerker but you will not regret this moving historical fiction
• The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, again the tears will flow but so will the gratitude for all that you have
• Looking for Alaska, also by John Green, was my favorite book throughout my young adult years
• The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, by Taylor Jenkins Reid, contained a shocking plot twist that really left me turning pages until the end
• Daisy Jones and the Six, also by Taylor Jenkins Reid, will not disappoint and is based loosely on a real band

Though fiction and fantasy are where my love of reading began, in recent years I have turned to the frustratingly yet admittedly aptly named genre of self-help books. Moving out to Colorado was a big change for me and change is something I have always struggled with as the delightfully Type A person I am so I turned to the comforting/ass kicking/inspiring words of authors like Jen Sincero, Glennon Doyle, Brené Brown, and Mark Manson. Similar to my subscription addiction, I became captivated by these books, inspired to be so much more, so much better than I’d ever before believed I could. Inherently different from each other, I couldn’t begin to rank these books in terms of favoritism as they all offer their own unique perspectives and approaches but to name a few that helped me, that I would recommend to anyone:

• Untamed, by Glennon Doyle, felt like a life changing read. A fierce mother, loyal partner, and earnestly self aware, Glennon will make you want to own your story like no one before while helping you admit your life and your flaws are just that: yours. Own it all.
• You Are a Badass, by Jen Sincero, was my “welcome to Denver” read, that I’d consume each morning on my bus ride to work and each evening on the ride home. She’s funny, motivating, and easy to read while still making you want to be a better you.
• The Celestine Prophecy, by James Redfield, won’t be for everyone because at times it feels too cheesy to be worth your time. However, stick this one out, when you get to the end you’ll be left with a profound sense of “moreness”, as in there is more to this world, to us, to our lives. It will make you look at the world differently and for the better.
• Daring Greatly, by Brené Brown, should not only be read by everyone but internalized. She forces you to open up about vulnerability, urges you to find compassion in your heart for all walks of life, and brings you the most important revelation of all: There can be no joy without gratitude.

So what’s next? I am going to go forth and be an Untamed Prophetic Badass who Dares Greatly and so are you, obviously! To that end, and with all sincerity, I advocate for self help for I see it as self care. Lord knows, we could all use a little more self improvement, a little more self awareness, and with that, a lot more compassion for both ourselves and our neighbors. At the end of the day, we are all just humans; 60% water and 40% skin, bones and organs. Why we have let the color of our skin, the God/god/gods we believe in, the people we love, and shape of our bodies dictate how we treat one another is ludicrous. We are all just humans, taking life one day at a time, and (hopefully) doing our best out there. Be kind to others, love yourself, do all things with love, and keep reading. Reading is learning and learning is growing; never stop growing. To close, a quote, from our beloved Dr. Seuss, “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

Be well, fellow readers.