Life, Love and Bumble BFF
As you may have gathered by now, I have done my fair share of moving around. New places are fun — new things to explore, new apartments to make your own, new neighborhoods to wander through — but the new faces piece, well that can be tough. The solution? Bumble BFF! An app formerly used only for dating can now be used to meet new friends or “friend date” as I’ve dubbed it. I began my adventure with Bumble BFF back in 2016; I had been living in Atlanta for many years and had recently gone through a breakup so was looking not to meet someone new to date but to meet someone new just to connect with, as a friend. The idea of “friend dating” seemed absurd to me but I figured I had nothing to lose so I gave it a whirl. I’ve been singing its praises ever since! I made two very good friends in ATL through the app, one of whom I am still close to despite living out in Denver now. It very much is like dating, you read through profiles, swipe ‘yes’ on the ones you think you might get along with, and then if they swipe ‘yes’ as well, you chat through the app until deciding to meet in real life. After moving out to Denver, I of course went back to my dear reliable Bumble BFF and now most everyone I know out here I met through the app.
Making friends as an adult can be hard, the only place you really meet people is at work or out at bars, and who’s to say you’ll have anything in common with people from either of these spots? The great thing about the app is it forces people to curate profiles and think about what they really want in a friend; personally, I would always swipe no on anyone who had not completed their profiles. Don’t have anything to say about yourself? Then no thanks! Bumble BFF has even gone so far as to have you pick your top category of what you are on the app looking for in a friend. The categories range from “Gaming” to “Volunteer” to “Travel” and “Nights out”. In my opinion, there really is a category for everyone. My category is set to “Nights out” because I am 31 going on 21, all the way. (Actually, I’ve decided this is the year I start Benjamin Buttoning, so I’ll be back in my 20’s in no time.)
Since moving to Denver, I have met at least 10 ladies through the app and am now/still very close to 2 of them and still hang out frequently with 2 others. I say ladies because the one limitation of Bumble BFF is you can only connect with friends of the same gender. I understand the need for this limitation but I do hope in the future Bumble BFF finds a way to open its algorithm to co-gender friendships. Of those that I am still friends with from the app, I have since introduced all of them to one another and have really starting building a network. I like to think of myself as a real friendship starter, if I may, and now a promoter of the app that I have to thank for it all. #bumblebffsuccessstory was one of my favorites hashtags for my Instagram posts for a time; it really is crazy for me to think about sometimes that I met all these amazing women online! I wouldn’t trade them for the world and truly believe they will be lifelong friends.
I know it might seem a bit disingenuous to make friends online, maybe even a little sad or desperate, but I swear it is not. You get to read about how people present themselves and what they are interested in as far as friendships go before you even meet them. It is a fast and easy way to look through a plethora of profiles and cherry pick those with whom a friendship might actually result; a process that could very well take months if naturally occurring. And while getting to know someone is perhaps half the fun, you actually don’t miss out on this piece! I would call it just getting a little bit of a head start, so that by the time you meet in person you have already skipped over the whole “what do you do for work” and “where are you from” and can jump straight into the deeper stuff — or not, depending on your preference.
Just like in regular dating, there are flops in friend dating too. Sometimes things can go perfectly well over the interface of a web app, only to meet in person and realize you simply don’t mesh. But that’s okay too and hey, at least you got out of the house and engaged with a new person for an hour or two. What’s so bad about that! I have discovered some of my now favorite places around Denver from friend flops; another great thing about meeting new people is when you make them pick the place and get to discover somewhere that you maybe hadn’t been before. Even if you as people don’t get along, you can still have favorite places in common. One of my flop stories, without naming any names, actually occurred when I tried my first (and only) double BFF friend date. My BFF brought another BFF that she had met and I brought one of my own, friend networking of sorts. However, the girl that my new connection brought… oof. I still cringe at the memory, she was clearly nervous and her way of combating that was to not. stop. talking. ever. It was painful, the girl seriously would not shut up! She then concluded the evening by grabbing each of our phones and putting her number in with a little smiley face at the end of her name. Needless to say, we never spoke again and I deleted her number a week later, I feel for the girl but she seemed like too much work. I’m all for taking a backseat in a conversation, but not the entire time! I’d still give the double friend date another go though if given the opportunity, talk about efficiency; you meet two new people at one time! Maybe in the end it’s all a numbers game after all.
I haven’t been on Bumble BFF since this whole pandemic thing began, but writing this post has me itching to get back on there and start meeting some new faces. I can’t recommend BFF enough, it is a wonderful way to meet new people, discover new places, and create long lasting friendships. I hope to write another BFF post years from now with updated stories of friendship adventures, both new and old, that all began on a little app called Bumble BFF.
