Life, Love and Buying My First Home

You’ve all seen the posts — keys in hand, big smiles on faces with a partner, a pet, or solo. The “Sold!” signs and a posed handshake with a realtor. It is a big milestone in any person’s life and they want the world to know it, see it, and share in it with them. But what did it take to get there? How many homes did they see, offers did they make, outbidding did they experience? How many listings did they visit only to realize the photos were the only things worth a thousand anything?

Home buying in 2021 was rough and I know my experience pales in comparison with those who stuck it out in the hopes of landing a single family home. Fortunately for me, I was in the market for a condo and though good inventory was lower, competition wasn’t nearly as steep for which I am grateful. I began my search in late winter/early spring of 2021 and there wasn’t a day that went by where I didn’t view at least 10 homes online. When I wasn’t looking at homes, I was calling mortgage brokers, comparing rates, pulling together numbers on my budget — how much could I afford for my monthly mortgage statements to be while still maintaining quality of life? How much did I want to put down, knowing that would no longer be liquid cash & readily available to me? I spoke to friends who had bought and family, spent hours on calls with lenders gathering as much information as I could about PMI, monthly payments, down payments, interest rates, principal vs. interest… it felt like a full time job in addition to my actual full time job. I was playing around with spreadsheets like it was my job, seeing “so if I put this much down, my monthly payment would be this… if I can land this interest rate, my PMI would be this…”. Friends, word of advice, if you can wait to do this with someone else — be it a parent, friend, partner or spouse — do. Navigating this as a first time home buyer, and on my own, at times felt quite overwhelming.

Luckily for me, condo number 20 that I saw in person (I honestly have no idea how many I went to, but it was a lot) was a winner. It was only the second offer I made, having been outbid by about 20k on my first one, and they accepted! To say that I was wary during the entire process is an understatement; I had one foot out the literal door the entire time. When the sink wouldn’t drain quickly — do I back out? When the sellers wouldn’t pay to clean the chimney for me — do I really want this one? When the home inspector told me the AC unit was older than any of us standing in that room — could I really live with that? When I heard the upstairs neighbors laugh during a walkthrough — is it going to be noisy like this all the time? You name it, I asked it. My sweet realtor was patient and compassionate the entire time, answering or forwarding on my questions each and every time without judgement. Once I’d run out of reasons (and time) to back out: I closed on my first home May 10th of 2021. A small 2 bed,1 bath unit just for me, at the end of the hall on the 4th floor and with a working fireplace. The dream, right? Let’s venture forward and see.

So you bought your first home, now what? What lies beyond the handing over of the keys and that first inaugural unlocking of the front door, when everything on the other side finally belongs to you? A LIVING NIGHTMARE. Ha, I kid, I kid, but it has been a never ending pull on my finances, which sometimes can feel like a nightmare. Having to choose between a night out with friends or buying myself a trash can is not really my cup of tea. Trash cans are freaking expensive, who knew! Since moving out of my parent’s home, I have always been a renter AND a renter with roommates: split rent, split utilities, split internet, and use their furniture, silverware, and dishes. It was a win win win! Until buying and moving into my own place, then realizing I had to make a significant amount of purchases, that is. Items such as a couch, some rugs, silverware, end tables, a TV stand, a coffee table and — thank you 1970’s building — even a toilet paper holder. Anyone else hearing “Money money money, must be funny, in a rich man’s world?” on repeat in their head or is that just me?

As I move into the more “decorative” part of home ownership, ie buying artwork, finding ways to organize my chaos in this small space, purchasing shelves, and picturing/making a list of all the things I yet want to do here; I will admit owning has gotten a little more fun. That being said, I still don’t know how to hang any of the heavier art pieces I’ve bought or the shelves or do much of anything laborious, really. Every piece of furniture I’ve purchased, my wonderful friends have (had to) come over to help me assemble. All the pieces that have been hung, you guessed it, a friend came over and did with (for) me. I couldn’t even get my shower curtain up without repeated assistance! Did you know that in older buildings you have to procure your own shower curtain rod? Well I didn’t. Learned that the hard way too. Oh, and, did I mention that before moving in, I repainted 95% of the walls? Now that was a task I will likely choose to never do on my own again. If I hadn’t had friends to help me with that too, I truly think I would’ve just quit halfway and moved in with partially painted walls lest I lose my damn mind. It took me over a month to repaint a 700 sq foot space WITH help — anyone who told me “painting is fun!” is a bold faced liar. But alas, I digress.

Furniture, art, painting, rugs, kitchenware, PMI, interest rates and mortgage payments aside, home buying and owning has honestly not been that much of a life changing experience. Perhaps that is largely due to the fact that what I bought was a condo instead of a single family home, but on the whole it feels quite a bit like renting minus the fantastic perks like having an onsite maintenance staff. Home buying is not for everyone and I’ll admit I think I fall into the “not for everyone” bucket. If it was financially savvy, I would’ve kept right on renting for years to come. Sometimes when viewing my monthly statements & seeing how much of my money is flowing to PMI & interest versus principal, I wish I had kept on renting. When I factor in the HOA dues on top of that with the whole “no one is coming to save you” vibes of owning, I very much wish I had kept on renting. But, at the end of the day, it has been and will continue to be a learning experience that I’m proud of myself for having tackled. Some days are better than others but on those good days, I do look around at my space and think “I did this. Me. All on my *own.” and that feels good. *Caveat being I am overflowing with gratitude for the friends who helped me along the way, I could not have gotten here without them.

And so, to all my renters out there, if you are renting and loving it — own that, and enjoy every second of that freedom. To all my fellow owners out there, be it condo or house, we did it. We did it, we made it, and we own it but let’s never forget the village it took for us to get here. Here’s a huge thank you to all my helping hands — my realtor, my lender, my packers, my movers, my patient friend advisors, my positive energy painters, my furniture builders, my picture hangers, and my “interior design consultants” for all your patience, kindness, and assistance. Why you’re all still friends with me I’ll never know but will be forever grateful. I may not have posed for a ‘keys in hand, big smile on faces’ photo, but I certainly shared in this milestone with all of you.