Love In the Distance
Can you truly love someone that you’ve never met in person? I’ve struggled with this question regularly. I would assume that many other people struggle with this question as well. With the emergence of online dating, meeting someone special online has become ever increasing. Many people also find that life long partner through a few simple strokes on a keyboard or a swipe and tap on a screen. But the question remains, can you truly love someone that you haven’t met in person.
I’m rather picky when it comes to dating. I’m even more picky when it comes to online dating. A co-worker once told me I’d always be single because my perfect woman doesn’t exist. When we date online, we create these almost impossible list of character traits that we essentially want. In reality, that type of perfection rarely exists. Looks can also play a major factor. Sometimes people never really live up to their photos. This can be a big issues for those that focus merely on physical appearance. With that said, I’ve been catfished before but that’s a whole other story to write. For many of us, online dating can be one disappointment after another. For others, it can be the start of a beautiful relationship.
Like many stories, mine started from an online dating site. I won’t get into the site because I’m not getting paid for promotion but it’s a pretty large site. I can’t remember exactly how it started but I think we viewed each other a few times then I sent a message. As I think of it, that’s exactly how it happened. She was a 33 year old woman living in Germany and I a 28 year old man living in the US. In the beginning I really had no idea that a connection between us would grow. Given the the distance between us, I was rather skeptical about even communicating with her. To me, the United States and Germany seemed worlds apart for one to have a relationship. In the end, I found her quite attractive so I figured I’d talk with her and see what her personality was like.
After our initial conversation, we spoke just about everyday after that. Things progress rather quickly. We had so much in common and agreed on various levels. While we were quite different, we had enough in common to make things just right. We’d talk everyday and Skype rather often. Needless to say, feelings started to develop between us. I started to feel like she was really the one for me. The distance that I once loathed seemed less far. Whenever I’d see her on Skype, my heart would skip a beat. Every text message from her would make me smile as if I were a schoolboy connecting glances with my crush. In that moment, it would seem that I found the woman that I’d send my forever with.
The original question, “Can you truly love someone that you’ve never met in person?” Yes! Old fashioned people would say that you need to physically be with someone to love them. I’d disagree. For me, It was her personality and her character that I fell in love with. My heart was won by the beauty of her mind and her intellect. The attraction was so much more than physical. It was a new feeling for me. Never have I felt that connected to someone. I was in love with a woman a world away.
Though our connection was strong, things started to deviate. The doubts and fears of the distance started to kick in. Not knowing when we’d actually see each other became very difficult. The opinions of others also played a factor. We eventually agreed to take some steps backwards and just focus on our friendship. This was hard on both of us. Feeling like you’ve met the one, only to have distance come between you is rough. Still, the feelings are there but sometimes it’s best to move on.
Loving someone that you’ve never met is difficult and extremely problematic, yet not impossible. A persons personality in many cases can be far more attractive than the physical. Love is a relative term. Everyone feels, experiences, and expresses love differently.
What’s your story? How did it end?