Mom, Fix this!
It is the favorite catch -phrase by a few of my children when they want their way or want to get out of being responsible. In their minds, they believe I am a Gladiator, who has the solution to their life hiccups. To save them from their faults and mistakes by coming to their rescues. I am the Olivia Pope in their life and all they want to hear, “it’s handled.”
It’s Handled.Getting them out of things is not going to make them productive and responsible citizens. In life, there are rules you have to follow, and there are consequences when you don’t. When I heard my son say it because he didn’t want to stay an additional day at the hospital. He looked over at me and said,
“Mom, you can fix this! Handle it.You can get me out of staying another day in the hospital.”
It became apparent he thinks I have magical powers to make things go his way. I’ve become their anchor, and I should be, but not when they want their way or doing wrong. I am Mom, but I cannot be a miracle worker. I can not stop consequences or go against what is best for him. I am learning to let him know I am not a miracle worker or Ms. Fixer.
I don’t perform Miracles!As Olivia Pope would do, I have to make cold hard calculations about what is best for my children. It is not always fair or easy. It sucks saying to your chronically ill son, “you have to do this.” I understand that he is sick and tired of having needles poking him, and all that is going on a daily basis but the fact remains he has to do it.
It comes a time when I, as a parent has to know when I am fixing a problem or enabling him. In his mind he believes when he calls my name I can handle it. He is not the only one in my family who thinks I should be their Gladiator when life hits the fan. As Mom, I should always be there, but I should also know when to walk away and let them clean up the messes. Instead, I will be there to listen, to support and comfort. I know now I don’t have to always to fix it or that I can.
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