Sitting with Lady Change

We have been living in our tiny triangular pop-up house on wheels for over 4 months now. This life on the road brings a certain reality into clear focus. Change. Change is the thing that is absolutely not negotiable about this life. We can try to fight against it, but change always wins.

Out here, rolling down highways and backroads, spending a night here and a few nights there and another night 200 miles down the road, Lady Change is sitting in the seat next to me. She nudges me out of my things must always be this way trance and says, “just look out the window. The leaves on the trees an hour ago were broad and turning gold, these are green needles. Change is, I am. Constant.”

One would think that having been living this nomadic life for the last 4 and a half months would have led me to embrace Lady Change sweetly. It hasn’t. Okay, it has, and it hasn’t. I find that my attachment to waking up in the same place that I drank coffee in yesterday has been easy to release. I don’t mind it a bit. I have an easier time releasing the way things must be done, and my attachment to time has loosened. Still, I get caught in my resistance to Lady Change. This resistance doesn’t manifest as frustration, irritation, or even sadness (at least not very often). It shows up as anxiety. My insides tremble at the thought of certain changes, and I know that most of the people I’ve worked with…