Addressing Female Disrespect: Why this is essential to relationship success
Crucial only for women?
This is crucial for both men and women, so I hope everyone pays close attention. Let’s dive in.
First, understand that disrespect is typically a process — it happens gradually over time.
The best predictor of overt disrespect is covert disrespect, which consists of small behaviors that have plausible deniability.
To prevent bigger problems down the road, it’s important to address disrespect while it’s still in its smaller forms.
The process of disrespect is clear in places like high schools and prisons. A bully doesn’t usually start with outright aggression; that’s risky.
Instead, they test their target subtly. For example, they might bump into someone in a hallway and see how they respond.
This minor action has plausible deniability — maybe it was just an accident. If the target apologizes, the bully knows they can escalate.
But if the target responds with a warning look or a firm response, the bully might think twice.
Most bullies know they’re bullies, but many women might not realize when they’re being disrespectful. This is partly because respect means different things to men and women.
Now, here’s a simple test for women to determine if a behavior might be seen as disrespectful to a man:
Ask yourself, would I say or do this to my boss if I wanted to keep my job? If the answer is no, it’s probably disrespectful.
Consider these behaviors: Would you roll your eyes at your boss, dismiss their feedback, complain angrily, respond sarcastically, nag them to comply with your demands, mutter under your breath, talk badly about them behind their back, tease them, or be indifferent to their proposals?
Most of us understand that if we want to keep our jobs, we wouldn’t do these things.
For those who have a playful relationship with their boss, ask yourself: Would you act this way in front of clients or customers?
Likely not, because you know how it would appear to others. This means you understand the point.
Now, let’s address a common objection: “A man is not the boss of me.” Fair enough. But remember, your boss isn’t the boss of you either. You’re in an at will professional relationship.
You voluntarily agree to the dynamics of that role, where the boss has legitimate authority.
In relationships, the person who initiates and builds the framework, often the man, tends to take on a leadership role.
If you feel your boss deserves more respect than your partner, ask yourself why. If you wouldn’t disrespect your boss, why disrespect your partner?
Disrespecting men can harm women’s interests. A man with self worth and options won’t tolerate disrespect. Women may risk losing a fulfilling relationship by being disrespectful.
Moreover, women cannot love a man they don’t respect. Disrespect threatens not just the relationship but also a woman’s positive feelings. For a woman, where respect goes, love follows.
Men, addressing covert disrespect early is essential for a healthy relationship. It safeguards her positive regard for you. If left unchecked, disrespect can grow and jeopardize the relationship’s foundation.
