7 Things that Happened After I Read ‘Better Than Before’
The best self-help book ever randomly came into my life, as a result of politeness.
A friend and I were rambling around SXSW2016 after doing a panel the night before. His friend, the author Gretchen Rubin, was signing books and I tagged along. As we stood in line, it occurred to me that not buying someone’s book while you are at their book signing is completely rude so I grabbed ‘BETTER THAN BEFORE’ thinking at the time, ‘Ugh another book to clutter up my nightstand.’
Well, chalk up a victory for manners. In the past six months I…
- Changed my diet to a high-animal fat, low sugar and carbohydrate plan, which somehow led to me eating more salad on the regular than I ever have, ever.
- Had a week straight of 8-hour nights and since then have averaged 1 solid extra hour of sleep every night.
- Cut my alcohol intake in half.
- Dropped the last 15 lbs of baby weight.
- Tripled the number of books I read (granted I was starting from a very low number).
- After three years of trying, I finally started blogging again.
7. Learned to code. (By stepping out of my day-to-day jobs and taking the first two weeks of our Summer Intensive.)
At the center of Rubin’s philosophy is the insight that habits make you more productive by removing the need for self-control. After that her strategy for implementation revolves around self-knowledge. My habit-forming tendency is a rare type she calls a ‘Rebel.’ Weirdly, rebels don’t actually have habits. We have habit-like behaviors because every time we do something we have to actually choose to do it. For instance, most mornings in the past involved mental contortions about when and in what order to have breakfast, exercise, brush my teeth, get dressed, shower.
Imagine how hard that makes it to be consistent.
But the book has strategies for how to game your mind. In my case it’s a question of identity. Being healthy and practicing basic self-care is a foundational principle of a balanced life. Creating and cherishing that identity motivated me to do lots of boring, repetitive things. There’s also something called linking, which is essentially a chain of habits, so once I decide to do one part of my morning routine, I do it all and in the same order.
I highly recommend the book. The caveats are:
1) There are still plenty of bad habits I have not kicked.
2) I was already in a habit-changing zone when I picked the book up. (If you think you’re in stasis you can try a life pivot.) From the first of the year I’d taken on a ridiculous number of New Year’s resolutions and had been progressing on all of them. Dry January? Check. Run 365 miles in 365 miles in a year? Nope. Am at about 60, but I got back to the gym to regain the strength I lost in a particularly hard pregnancy. If you’re curious I use Nike+Training Club. I’d also already been journaling (almost) daily, reading from a book daily and practicing thinking BIG.
3) If you have a spouse, figure out their tendency. I read the salient parts to my husband, which helped us figure out the sleep one together.
Right now, I’m re-reading the book to figure out how to not backslide on sleep and to start decluttering. I’ve already read Marie Kondo so, that’s what’s next. Overall, it’s been a big life improvement.
Anyone have tips on decluttering when you have young kids? Drop me a line. @clewishalpern
