How I Moved My Family Across the Country and Found Balance and Community
When my son, Grayson, was born in 2018, my husband and I started asking ourselves the questions that so many city-dwellers do when they become parents: What kind of home and environment did we want for our family? And would we ever be able to afford to raise our children the way we grew up if we stayed put in San Francisco?
We were still asking ourselves these questions when the pandemic hit in March of 2020. We’d just moved from San Francisco to Marin County to get more space as Grayson became a toddler, but in the back of our minds we always knew it wasn’t our forever home. It was impossible to make friends or create a community in lockdown, and the bigger questions we’d assumed we’d figure out — someday — became much more immediate.
After making endless spreadsheets and staying up late researching real estate markets and school districts, we decided we would move to Raleigh, North Carolina — the state where I was raised, where Alex and I met in business school, and a burgeoning tech hub where (at the time I hoped!) Thumbtack would be expanding its footprint.
Even once we’d committed as a company to a virtual-first work environment — a decision I was 100 percent in favor of because of the flexibility it would afford our team — I was still nervous to bring up the idea of making such a major move. As Chief of Staff, my role requires constant communication with Marco, our CEO, and other leaders in the company, most of whom were based in the Bay Area at the time. I worried that moving so far away might make me feel like an outlier, or like I was sitting on the sidelines of the action that I love so much about my job.
But I’d been inspired as Leslie Laws, Senior Director of HR, moved to Miami while pregnant with her second child to be closer to her parents, Chi Thorsen-McCarthy, Head of Creative, who followed her family’s dream of moving to upstate New York, and our Chief Legal Officer, who decided to move to Denver, Colorado with her partner. All three were senior leaders in our company, and were thriving at home and at work.
Tackling the transition
When I told Jelena Djordevic, our VP of People, she didn’t blink an eye. We’re good friends and our kids love playing together, so she was sad to hear we were moving — but also really excited for us. The team couldn’t have been more supportive, and so we started coordinating all of the details that come with a cross-country move in a pandemic.
In some ways, relocating was easy. After house-hunting in the wildly expensive and wildly competitive Marin County real estate market, we were thrilled to find a home we loved in Raleigh relatively quickly. But moving during a pandemic with no family in our destination city was also really tough. We stayed in three different rentals while supply chain issues held up our move-in date and Grayson was so thrown off by the constant changes that he pretty much stopped sleeping (It was brutal!).
Looking back now, we’re able to laugh about how frazzled and bleary-eyed we were when we finally moved into our new home and neighborhood. What I remember most about that time is the incredibly warm welcome we received. People would literally come up to me while I was outside in my sweats getting the paper to tell me they’d heard we’d moved to the neighborhood and were so glad we were here. After years of finding it hard to build community, we instantly found a network of new friends and support.
Finding our footing — and a new rhythm
Our lives have changed so much since the move. I’m obsessed with our neighborhood, which has at least thirteen kids between the ages of six months and eight years old. We live on a cul-de-sac with a sweet bench where everyone gathers in the evenings — the adults drinking beers and hanging out, and the kids riding bikes. We have potlucks and celebrate birthdays with our neighbors. It’s a lot like how my husband and I grew up and it felt like home right away.
As a mom, I wouldn’t be okay with the move if Grayson weren’t okay. So it’s a huge relief that he adores his new school and neighborhood. Alex and I both work from home — in a house with space for each of us to have an office — and have much more time together. We even have a babysitter and, for the first time, go on regular date nights!
It’s hard to describe, but there’s an ease and spaciousness to our lives that we didn’t have before. Whereas in California we had to save every penny to even begin to afford our home, we still have to manage our budget but we can now do things like taking holiday vacations to the beach. We have a different sense of possibility, and we let ourselves dream a little bit more.
I’ve also learned a lot about who I am at work during the move. I’ve realized I’m a connector and that relationships mean everything to me. I’m still figuring out how to make the time and space for relationship-building in a virtual-first environment. However, through our in-person events and by making small tweaks — such as lots of “walking phone calls” so I can connect with people without spending the majority of my day on Zoom — the transition has been easier than expected.
Building our Local Communities
I’m also so excited that we now have nearly 15 other Thumbtackers in the Raleigh area. Our recruiting team is doing a phenomenal job creating clusters of team members all over the country, and transforming us from a Bay Area-based company to a network of community hubs — with employees in 28 states and counting.
This is the future, and I’m proud that as a company we’re truly rethinking and rebuilding the way we work from the ground up. I’m also proud of Alex and I for taking such a big leap that was so right for our family, and so grateful to my colleagues for supporting us every step of the way.
If you read this and see yourself in this future at Thumbtack, check out our open roles at https://www.thumbtack.com/careers/.
