Work From Anywhere Series: How WFH Has Made Me a Better Parent

For some of my colleagues, Thumbtack’s commitment to a virtual-first model opened doors to cross-country moves and radical life changes. I didn’t alter the physical circumstances of my daily existence — but I can’t overstate the difference working from home has made for me and my family.

Before the pandemic, I commuted two hours each way from my home in San Jose to Thumbtack HQ in downtown San Francisco. This meant I would leave weekday mornings before my daughters, Olive and Addie, would wake up. And I wouldn’t get home until after my wife, Sadie, and the girls had finished dinner. I missed a lot of valuable time with my family.

I loved my job, I loved our strong in-office culture, and, well, a long commute just came with the territory of living in the Bay Area.

We all got used to the routine, but it took its toll: My days were long, the lion’s share of caring for the home and the kids fell to Sadie, and I couldn’t be the involved parent I’ve always tried to be (I’m the dad who loves coaching soccer, leading Girl Scouts, and participating in the PTA).

Early in that first year at Thumbtack, I joined the Parents ERG group. Because most of the members were new parents, and Olive and Addie were 10 and 8, I was happily surprised to be one of the “experienced” parents of the group. Back then we kept things pretty light, we met once a month for lunch to chat and connect with one another — mostly sharing family photos and tips about baby gear.

Then the pandemic hit — and the Parents ERG group went from a nice-to-have community at work to a lifeline. Our offices closed, the responsibilities of home and work suddenly collided, and we all needed a place to process, vent, and make sense of what was happening.

Finding the silver lining

As time went on, our ERG group grew even more active and tight-knit. More colleagues (including some of our most senior leaders) had babies during the pandemic, and eventually everyone started to find their footing with working from home. Gradually, our conversations shifted from sharing fears about failing at work and at home to seeing unmistakeable positives in virtual-first being the new normal.

For me, it happened pretty quickly: Without my commute I was able to make breakfast and give both my kids (and wife) hugs every morning, rather than leaving them a note on the kitchen table. I could help them with their classes while they had virtual school, and they knew I was only a phone call or text away when they went back to in-person. Now, we sit around the table every night for dinner and talk about our days. All of these little things have added up to us feeling much more connected as a family.

There were big silver linings for our family, too. With me being so much more available, Sadie was able to go back to school and is now preparing to start a new job. We also had a medical situation with one of the girls that required considerable time and attention to navigate, which would have been nearly impossible had we not been virtual-first — and likely would have required me to take an extended leave. But now I was home and had the full support of my team and senior leadership, all of whom encouraged me to put my family first.

Putting parenting first — permanently

I will never forget a moment, in the throes of the pandemic, when our CEO, Marco, had just come back to work after he and his wife welcomed their second child into the world. We were having a global All Thumbs virtual meeting with the entire company and it was Marco’s time for dad duty. At one point during the meeting, his youngest woke up from his nap and began to cry. Marco paused the meeting, and as our entire company waited (and watched), got him up, soothed him, and finished the All Thumbs with him on his lap.

It was a little thing but, again, it added up to something big. Seeing our CEO bring his true identity as a parent to work gave everybody else permission to do the same, at a time when it was crucially important to our well-being. I could feel every parent at Thumbtack breathe a sigh of relief.

When Thumbtack officially committed to creating a new, permanently virtual-first culture, I know so many of us exhaled again. Now, as other companies start going back to offices and I hear stories about patience waning with parents having to take care of sick kids or little ones joining Zoom calls, I’m relieved that we’ve intentionally charted a different path.

It’s been a very hard two years in so many ways — but I’m also exceedingly grateful. I’m so glad that schools are open and we are (hopefully) inching back towards a new normalcy. I’m grateful to have more time with my family while continuing to do work that I love. And I feel incredibly lucky to be surrounded by colleagues who believe in bringing our authentic selves to work, including the gloriously messy and unpredictable business of being a parent.

To learn more about Thumbtack and our open positions, visit www.thumbtack.com/careers